December 9, 2008

Susan Gammage’s

Baha’i-Inspired Life Coaching

December 9, 2008

Why Failure is Really Success
Questions and Answers
Stories from the Early Days

Setting Boundaries

Setting Limits for Children on Sex and Violence

Forming a Vision for your Next Career Move

Secret of Getting Motivated

How to get What you Want out of Life

The Web’s Leading Newsletter
Applying Baha’i Principles to Real Life Situations

Susan Gammage

This issue’s topic “Why Failure is Really a Success” is an attempt to put my frustrations into perspective.  It’s been quite awhile since my last newsletter and I’ve had enquiries from my loyal readers, wondering the reason for my silence.

My mother taught me:  “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” – so that’s the reason I haven’t been in touch.

I’ve continued to have energy sucking technological challenges with various hardware and software programs; and delays with the website from a company which doesn’t tell the truth – only what they think I want to hear – and as we’ve learned in the Bahai Writings: “without truthfulness, progress and success are impossible.”

So I have no news to report on the official launching of the website and opening of the life coaching business.  I am taking clients prior to the launch, however, so if you think you might be interested, please email me at:

Why Failure Is Really a Success

Susan Gammage

When something doesn’t go your way, what’s the first thought that pops into your head? Do you chastise yourself? Or do you reassure yourself that you are growing stronger and wiser with each challenge you face?

. . . we must realize that everything which happens is due to some wisdom and that nothing happens without a reason.       (Abdul-Baha, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 46.)

In reality, it’s not the successes that make you a stronger, more successful person; it’s the failures.

This may sound odd, but each failure you have is actually a success. Why, you ask? Because it gives you the opportunity to improve, learn, and try again.

Let’s take a look at a couple of the world’s greatest failures that lead to the some of the most ubiquitous inventions of our time.

  • Did you know that 3M’s greatest failure was inventing glue that won’t stick? That glue became the basis for the sticky backing on the “Post-It Note.”

  • Thomas Edison’s invention of the carbon microphone was a failure which contributed significantly to the commercial success of the telephone and  remains in use today.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that each failure you encounter will land you with an immediate success. But it’s always a stepping-stone along the way.

“The more often the captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing the greater his knowledge be­comes. Therefore I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties… Strange it is that I love you and still I am happy that you have sorrows.” (Abdul-Baha, Star of the West, Vol. XIV, No. 2, p. 41.)

You Can Only Appreciate Success
After You’ve Failed

Thomas Edison had an incredibly positive attitude about failure. When he was questioned as to why so many of his experiments were failures, he responded by saying that he never had a failure in any of his experiments, rather, each experiment helped him discover another way that something would not work. In reality, sometimes the only way to know whether you’ve succeeded is to fail.

Learning How to Deal With Disappointment

Dealing with the disappointment of failure can be tough for adults as well as for children. But everyone experiences failure at some point in their lives and teaching our children how to deal with the disappointment is a critical life lesson.

Can you imagine a young adult, either a teen or college student, dealing with their first failures in the workplace? A tantrum at any age is not appealing, never mind from an adult who should know better.

Consider the very wise words of Winston Churchill who said, “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” What did he mean exactly? Well here are three reasons why failing is a good thing:

1.     Inspiration – Before you laugh, think about your childhood when you didn’t get something right the first time. What did you do? Tried again and again! Each time the thought in your head was, “I am going to get it right this time!” What better motivation do you need?

2.     Humility – No one is perfect, sometimes we need to be reminded of that very fact! Can you imagine a world where no one ever failed and we all  walked around thinking we were God’s gift to the world?

3.     Learning – Success makes you feel good, but failing teaches you a lesson. Think back to the first time you swung a bat, learned to walk, or tried to eat  with a fork. Did you do it right the first time? Of course not. Did you figure out with each failure what you were doing wrong? Well if you can swing a bat today, walk and eat with a fork then I guess you did!

“Thus you might look upon your own difficulties in the path of service. They are the means of your spirit growing and developing. You will suddenly find that you have conquered many of the prob­lems which upset you, and then you will wonder why they should have troubled you at all.”
Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, pp. 35-36.

Failure brings positive change and success to those who are resilient.  What goals do you need to set, to move you forward from failure to success?

Research has shown that when you identify a goal and tell another person about it, you’re more likely to carry it out.

To hold you accountable for moving forward, I’d like you to set a goal from this new learning, and post it at the blog: , and then when you’ve achieved it, I’d like you to post that too.

Are you struggling with this assignment? I’m here to help!  Contact me for a 30 min free get-acquainted session.

Questions and Answers

Susan Gammage
Question: I’m overwhelmed with life and struggling with the many tests and difficulties in front of me, and thinking of resigning from the Assembly.  What will help me make this decision?

Answer: “You have asked what to do since psychological problems sometimes make it difficult for you to participate in community events and Assembly meetings.  In striving to follow the Teachings and the best medical advice you can obtain, you will want to remember that the healing you do now is an investment that will enable you to better serve in the future.  Ideally, you would combine concentrating on healing with avenues of service which do not interfere with it.”  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual, 23 October 1994.)
What questions would you like to ask about how to apply the Writings to your situation?  Please send your questions to
Unfortunately I can’t answer each one individually, but I’ll try to answer as many as I can, in these newsletters.

Stories from the Early Days of the Faith

Susan Gammage
One of the ways to move from failure to success is to use your intuition.  This story tells of one way:
Many times when Lua [Getsinger] and I were together, teaching problems would arise, and decisions would have to be made.  I remember once when Lua was asked to speak in a city south of San Francisco, and the question arose as to whether to spend the money for the trip or buy a pair of shoes for a very needy Bahai.  We considered the question and prayed sincerely while holding a volume of my book Tablets of Abdul-Baha, which I then opened for guidance.  The decision was reached that the shoes were to be bought.
Another time Lua did not know whether to stay in town (San Francisco) or go to Palo Alto to teach.  We prayed, and I opened my book and read, “The path has been cleared, the way opened for her.”  Lua went to Palo Alto to teach.
(Brown, Ramona Allen, Memories of Abdul-Baha, p. 13-14.)

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