I first heard this story in a group for Adult Children of Alcoholics, nearly 25 years ago, and was delighted to find it again tonight.  If you aren’t familiar with it, I hope you enjoy it!  If you are, I hope you enjoy reading it again.   An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters A poem [...]

I first heard this story in a group for Adult Children of Alcoholics, nearly 25 years ago, and was delighted to find it again tonight.  If you aren’t familiar with it, I hope you enjoy it!  If you are, I hope you enjoy reading it again.

 

An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

A poem by Portia Nelson that appears in Claudia Black’s book. Repeat After Me

I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in

I am lost . . . I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

 

 

Put the Glass Down By Dr.Claude Shema-Rutagengwa, Pr.Dr.Udaya Kumar and Pr.Dr.Dietrich http://www.author-me.com/fict07/puttheglass.htm Once a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, “how much do you think this glass weighs? ’50gms!’?…’100gms…’125gms’…. The students answered, “I really don’t [...]

Put the Glass Down

By Dr.Claude Shema-Rutagengwa, Pr.Dr.Udaya Kumar and Pr.Dr.Dietrich

http://www.author-me.com/fict07/puttheglass.htm

Once a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, “how much do you think this glass weighs? ’50gms!’?…’100gms…’125gms’….

The students answered, “I really don’t know unless I weigh it.”

The professor said, ‘now, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?’

‘Nothing’ the students said.

“OK what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?” the professor asked.

“Your arm would begin to ache” said one of the students.

“You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”

“Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure! Ventured another student”, all the students laughed.

“Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?” Asked the professor.

“No” was the reply of all the students.

“Then what caused the arm to ache; the muscle to stress?” After a pause the professor asked “Before my arm ache, what should I do?”

The students were puzzled.

“Put the glass down!” said one of the students.

“Exactly!” said the professor, “Life’s problems are exactly like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time; they begin to ache. Hold it even longer; they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.”

It’s important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to ‘put them down’ at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh; strong; can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

Remember to put the glass down everyday!

 

Feeling judged by others is a fairly universal theme among my clients and friends, so I wanted to share some insights I’ve gained which might help you reframe the way you hear hurtful comments. The spiritual principles you need to understand are the relationship between our lower and higher natures, the principle of neither giving [...]

Feeling judged by others is a fairly universal theme among my clients and friends, so I wanted to share some insights I’ve gained which might help you reframe the way you hear hurtful comments.

The spiritual principles you need to understand are the relationship between our lower and higher natures, the principle of neither giving offence nor taking offence; and the concept of “love languages”.

Dual Natures:

We were born with both a higher and lower nature.  The lower nature is the voice of the ego, and the higher nature is the voice of God.  You can tell the difference between the two, because one is judging and condemning, and the other is pure love.

It’s common to hear “you should” . . . and immediately go to “I’m not good enough”.  Both sentences are lies emanating from our lower nature!  The only one who knows what you should do, is God, and you can know His will for you through the Bahá’í Writings.

The truth is that God created you perfect . . .

With the hands of power I made thee and with the fingers of strength I created thee; and within thee have I placed the essence of My light. Be thou content with it and seek naught else, for My work is perfect and My command is binding. Question it not, nor have a doubt thereof.  (Baha’u'llah, Hidden Words, Arabic 12)

. . . and noble,

Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself.  (Bahá’u'lláh, Hidden Words, Arabic 22).

We abase ourselves every time we act from the lower nature, by putting ourselves down or allowing others to do so.   You’re good enough for God, and that’s all that matters.

Giving and taking offence:

To protect us from ourselves, the Bahá’í Writings tell us we’re not to give offence nor take offence:

Thus no member should ever allow himself to be prevented from expressing frankly his view because it may offend a fellow member; and, realizing this, no member should take offence at another member’s statements.  (Universal House of Justice,  Lights of Guidance, p. 179-180)

When we “give offence” we are deliberately saying things designed to oppress a soul – another “no-no” in our Faith:

There is no fire in the eyes of those who have known God and His signs, fiercer than to transgress His laws and to oppress another soul, even to the extent of a mustard seed.  (The Bab, Selections from the Writings of the Bab, p. 79)

“Taking offence” means believing someone else’s lie – something spoken from their lower nature.  The best remedy for that is to see them as captives of their lower nature, and forgive them:

If someone commits an error and wrong toward you, you must instantly forgive him.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 453)

Language of love

Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book called “The Five Languages of Love”.  In it, he identifies 5 ways in which people demonstrate their love for each other:

Words of Affirmation:  If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time:  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts: Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service:  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch:  A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

For example, I’m a person who values quality time and acts of service, and don’t particularly care about getting gifts.  As a life coach, I’m likely to think deeply about what my clients tell me and sometimes go overboard finding the exact quotes from the Bahá’í Writings which might help them solve their problems.  Sometimes, clients who value words of affirmation “take offence” because I give them lengthy responses which turn into blog postings instead of simply affirming that they are OK where they are.  They feel judged instead of feeling loved, and “take offence” when no offence was intended.  They don’t understand that I was only acting out of my “love language”.

A note to my life coaching clients:  You can be 95% certain that whatever I say, I am not judging you (the other 5% is because I’m human!)  One thing you can know for sure, though, is that I can’t bear to give offense.  If I know I’ve hurt someone, it hurts me even worse!

Click here to find out what your love language is.  You don’t need to give your name and email address.  Just click on “skip this step”.

How has your life been affected by giving or taking offence?  Post your comments here:

 

 

The biggest problem about thoughts is this; people don’t know the source of their thoughts. They don’t stop and ask, “Is that really how God thinks?” or, “Is this thought coming from the kingdom of God or the kingdom of darkness?” For example:  Where did the thought come from, which led Mírzá Yahyá to betray [...]

The biggest problem about thoughts is this; people don’t know the source of their thoughts. They don’t stop and ask, “Is that really how God thinks?” or, “Is this thought coming from the kingdom of God or the kingdom of darkness?”

For example:  Where did the thought come from, which led Mírzá Yahyá to betray Bahá’u'lláh?

Where did the thought come from, which led Osama Bin Laden to bomb the World Trade Centre?

Where did the thought come from, which led Hitler to want to exterminate the Jews?

These thoughts all came out of their lower natures.  Not from God.  As “the Omniscient”; “the All-informed” and “the All Knowing”, God might have known what was going to happen, but He didn’t put the thoughts into their minds.  They bought those thoughts as if they were real, and coming from their own minds.  Because of their disobedience towards the laws of God, pathways were open for those idle fancies and vain imaginings to take root.

In the course I’m taking this week, I’m reminded that the word of God is the only source of true knowledge.  It’s the standard by which to judge everything else.

Do you know the source of your own thoughts?  Are they coming from God or from your lower nature?  The only way to know for sure is to run them through the Bahá’í Writings.

There are 3 sources of thought:

o      People in the here and now, telling us things

o      Our lower nature

o      Our higher nature – or the voice of God

How do thoughts develop?  We’re told in the Bahá’í Writings that we see something, which goes into our imagination, then into our thought, comprehension, and memory:

Sight is one of the outer powers; it sees and perceives this flower, and conveys this perception to the inner power — the common faculty — which transmits this perception to the power of imagination, which in its turn conceives and forms this image and transmits it to the power of thought; the power of thought reflects, and having grasped the reality, conveys it to the power of comprehension; the comprehension, when it has comprehended it, delivers the image of the object perceived to the memory, and the memory keeps it in its repository.  (Abdu’l-Baha, Baha’i World Faith – Abdu’l-Baha Section, p. 317)

And when we choose to act, our negative thoughts come from our lower nature.  They aren’t who we are.  I can think “I’m fat; I’m ugly” or I’m poor, but that isn’t who I am.  It’s just a thought, and thoughts can be changed.

Negative thoughts come into our minds, flooding us with feelings and emotions (sounds like a definition of how I feel when I’m in overwhelm!), as if they were from ourselves.  They distance us from God, resulting in shame and guilt in a matter of seconds.  As a result, we hide from God, unable to pray, putting us deeper and deeper into our lower natures.  Bahá’u'lláh describes this process so eloquently:

Ye are even as the bird which soareth, with the full force of its mighty wings and with complete and joyous confidence, through the immensity of the heavens, until, impelled to satisfy its hunger, it turneth longingly to the water and clay of the earth below it, and, having been entrapped in the mesh of its desire, findeth itself impotent to resume its flight to the realms whence it came. Powerless to shake off the burden weighing on its sullied wings, that bird, hitherto an inmate of the heavens, is now forced to seek a dwelling-place upon the dust.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 327)

Pride and ego are also manifestations of our lower nature.  For example, perhaps the Kings and Rulers at the time of Bahá’u'lláh believed that their thoughts were arising from their own genius, rather than their lower natures, and this blinded them and caused them to reject the letters Bahá’u'lláh sent to them.

For many centuries, religious leaders controlled the thoughts of believers, training them how to think.  Literacy and questions were forbidden.  Their interpretations of scripture was not always based on truth as set forth in the Words of God, which is why Bahá’u'lláh abolished the priesthood.

Don’t ever believe what a man says.  Justice demands that we:

. . . see with thine own eyes and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor.  (Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words 2)

We can’t stop our lower natures from speaking to us, but we can choose whether or not we will listen and how we will respond.  In order to do this, we need to hold every thought captive, so we can discern whose voice we are listening to.

Recognizing imperfections, which we all have, is a positive step towards spiritual growth.  (The Universal House of Justice, 1993 Jun 05, Homosexuality, p. 6)

And once we’ve determined whose voice we are listening to, we need to identify the source and cast out all idle fancies and vain imaginings.  For example, I’m not usually a person who swears, but whenever I find myself using profanity, I seem unable to rid myself of it, until I can identify the person closest to me who is using those words.  Then I stop swearing effortlessly.

Our lower nature trains us how to think:

The root cause of wrongdoing is ignorance, and we must therefore hold fast to the tools of perception and knowledge.  (Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 136)

What we think and meditate on, becomes a part of who we are.

The reality of man is his thought . . . (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 17)

For example:  If my reality is that I am poor, and my reality is my thought, it makes sense that my thoughts become the reason for my poverty.

Henry Wright, in his book “A More Excellent Way”, suggests that negative thoughts affect the body, change hormones and neurotransmitters and become habit.  We’ve been given clear guidance on how to reverse this trend:

I charge you all that each one of you concentrate all the thoughts of your heart on love and unity. When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love. Thoughts of war bring destruction to all harmony, well-being, restfulness and content.  Thoughts of love are constructive of brotherhood, peace, friendship, and happiness.  (Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 29)

If we think evil thoughts long enough, we will become evil.  One way to avoid it, is by using this affirmation, found in the prayer for spiritual qualities:

I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.  (‘Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i Prayers, p. 151)

And education alone can show us how to rise above it:

Regard man as a mine rich in gems of inestimable value. Education can, alone, cause it to reveal its treasures, and enable mankind to benefit therefrom.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 259)

But true education comes from God:

The hope is cherished that ye may obtain true education in the shelter of the tree of His tender mercies and act in accordance with that which God desireth.  (Baha’u'llah, Tablets of Baha’u'llah, p. 27)

True education is superior to human education in that it:

. . . releases capacities, develops analytical abilities, confidence, will, and goal-setting competencies, and instills the vision that will enable them to become self-motivating change agents, serving the best interests of the community.  (Baha’i International Community, 1990 Mar 08, Teacher’s Situation Determining Factor of Quality)

If parents don’t educate their children in the ways of God, they will be called to account for their deeds before a “stern Lord”.  This is the only place in the Writings, where this threat exists!

In this New Cycle, education and training are recorded in the Book of God as obligatory and not voluntary. That is, it is enjoined upon the father and mother, as a duty, to strive with all effort to train the daughter and the son, to nurse them from the breast of knowledge and to rear them in the bosom of sciences and arts. Should they neglect this matter, they shall be held responsible and worthy of reproach in the presence of the stern Lord.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 398)

In order for our thoughts to become aligned with God’s thoughts, we need to:

Immerse yourselves in the ocean of My words, that ye may unravel its secrets, and discover all the pearls of wisdom that lie hid in its depths.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 136)

In conclusion, we are thinking beings with the power of discernment.  We can choose which thoughts to put into our minds.  But we can’t do this unless we first immerse ourselves in the Ocean of God’s words by reading the Bahá’í Writings morning and eve and by saying our prayer three times a day (morning, evening and the obligatory prayer).

Shortly after I became a Bahá’í, I learned that I had a lower nature, out of which can develop all the negative qualities seen in man.  Truthfully, I didn’t give it much thought until this week.  What I’m learning in my class has been a real eye opener, as I come to realize that even [...]

Shortly after I became a Bahá’í, I learned that I had a lower nature, out of which can develop all the negative qualities seen in man.  Truthfully, I didn’t give it much thought until this week.  What I’m learning in my class has been a real eye opener, as I come to realize that even though I strive to implement all the Bahá’í teachings to the best of my ability, most of my time is spent dwelling in my lower nature.  The experiences of abuse I lived through as a child left me with a poor self image, a lot of fear and self-pity, anxiety and depression, none of which are from God.  And the best news of all, now that I know about it, I can finally do something about it!  Let’s take a look at some of the things I’m learning.

We have two selves:

. . . self has really two meanings, or is used in two senses, in the Bahá’í Writings; one is self, the identity of the individual created by God. This is the self mentioned in such passages as “he hath known God who hath known himself”, etc. The other self is the ego, the dark, animalistic heritage each one of us has, the lower nature that can de­velop into a monster of selfishness, brutality, lust and so on. (Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, p. 18).

Our lower nature is sometimes referred to as our ego:

The ego is the animal in us, the heritage of the flesh which is full of selfish desires. (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 453)

Our lower natures include our 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell), by which we receive information from the world, and sadly, much of it is lies when filtered through the Bahá’í Writings.  I can look at you, hear what you are saying, and try to filter out if what you are saying is coming from your higher or lower nature.  God’s Word helps us discern truth from falsehood.  Here is a process we’ve been given for discerning truth from error:

Consequently, it has become evident that the four criteria stan­dards of judgment by which the human mind reaches its conclusions (senses, intellect, traditional or scriptural and inspiration) are faulty and inaccurate. All of them are liable to mistake and error in conclu­sions. But a statement presented to the mind, accompanied by proofs which the senses can perceive to be correct, which the faculty of rea­son can accept, which is in accord with traditional authority and sanc­tioned by the promptings of the heart, can be adjudged and relied upon as perfectly correct, for it has been proved and tested by all the standards of judgment and found to be complete. When we apply but one test, there are possibilities of mistake. This is self-evident and manifest.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 255).

We’re caught between our lower and higher natures, because our lower nature uses the same pathway to speak to us as God does – through our thoughts.  At any given moment we might be listening to God or to our own idle fancies.  So it’s inevitable that we sometimes get confused about who we are listening to, which is why God asks us to listen with our inner ear.

Improper thoughts, feelings and emotions are part of our lower nature.  For example, the law of God tells me to forgive my parents, and my lower nature says that what they did was unforgiveable.  But I know that God’s law is superior to my faulty belief system, because it’s the truth.

I’m learning that my mind is renewed by the choices I make.  For example, every time I choose to forgive, I’m building forgiveness into my soul, and with enough practice, it becomes a way of life.  Every time I don’t choose to forgive, that also builds into my soul and it too becomes a way of life.  So I have to ask myself:  which law do I want to choose?

I may have been trained by my lower nature, but God gave me free will to rise above it.  So again, I ask myself:  Whose voice am I going to listen to?

It’s my lower self that I must battle against:

It is this self [lower nature] we must struggle against . . . in order to strengthen and free the spirit within us and help it to attain perfection. (Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, p. 18).

There’s a battle going on inside each of us, all the time, but the battle is not with “ourselves” (both higher and lower).  It’s only with our lower nature.  The source of conflict arises when we become one with an evil thought, believing it to be true.  For example, when I was a baby, I overheard my mother say:  “I wish she’d never been born” and for many years I believed I was unwanted and unloved.  I became one with this belief, and it fed my desire to die.

We can’t serve both “masters” (God and our lower nature) at the same time.  When we try, we become unstable in all our ways.  For example, I can’t believe that I am unloveable and teach that I was created out of God’s love for me.  I can’t effectively teach the faith while waiting to die!  I’m sure this is the origin of my post traumatic stress symptoms!

There’ll be no end to longing till I find my heart’s desire; Either I’ll win my own Heart’s Life or lose my life entire.  (Hafiz, quoted in Marzieh Gail, Dawn Over Mount Hira, p. 42)

I’m learning that shame and guilt are caused by believing the battle is with myself, causing me to hate myself.  These thoughts are coming from my lower nature, and are not true.  Recognizing this, I must cast these negative beliefs out and cling to what’s true:

How well hath it been said; “Cling unto the robe of the Desire of thy heart, and put thou away all shame; bid the worldlywise be gone, however great their name.”  (Bahá’u'lláh, Kitáb-i-Íqán, pp. 69-70).

Each one of us, if we look into our failures, is sure to feel unworthy and despondent, and this feeling only frustrates our constructive efforts and wastes time.  The thing for us to focus on is the glory of the Cause and the Power of Bahá’u'lláh which can make of a mere drop a surging sea!  (Shoghi Effendi:  Unfolding Destiny, page 447)

What’s true is that God loves me, just the way I am:

Out of the wastes of nothingness, with the clay of My command I made thee to appear, and have ordained for thy training every atom in existence and the essence of all created things. Thus, ere thou didst issue from thy mother’s womb, I destined for thee two founts of gleaming milk, eyes to watch over thee, and hearts to love thee. Out of My loving-kindness, ‘neath the shade of My mercy I nurtured thee, and guarded thee by the essence of My grace and favor. And My purpose in all this was that thou mightest attain My everlasting dominion and become worthy of My invisible bestowals. (Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words 29)

Of course, we’re all a mixture of both lower and higher natures.  None of us are saints or pure evil.  Even when we try to rid ourselves of one sin, another will crop up:

Just as the earth attracts everything to the centre of gravity, and every object thrown upward into space will come down, so also material ideas and worldly thoughts attract man to the centre of self. Anger, passion, ignorance, prejudice, greed, envy, covetousness, jeal­ousy and suspicion prevent man from ascending to the realms of holi­ness, imprisoning him in the claws of self and the cage of egotism.

The physical man, unassisted by the divine power, trying to escape from one of these invisible enemies, will unconsciously fall into hands of another. No sooner does he attempt to soar upward than the density of the love of self, like the power of gravity, draws him to the centre of the earth. The only power that is capable of delivering man from this captivity is the power of the Holy Spirit. The attraction of the power of the Holy Spirit is so effective that it keeps man ever on the path of upward ascension.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’í Scriptures, p. 241)

We are not immune to our lower nature by becoming Bahá’í.  We embark on an active lifestyle as we strive to “conquer ourselves” and rebuild who we are in God, at the same time.  Like everything, it’s a process:

The House of Justice asks us to point out that the recognition of the Manifestation of God is but the beginning of a process of growth and that as we become more deepened in the Teachings and strive to follow His principles, we gradually approach more and more the perfect pattern which is presented to us. Bahá’u'lláh recognizes that human beings are fallible. He knows that, in our weakness, we shall repeatedly stumble when we try to walk in the path He has pointed out to us. (Letters of The Universal House of Justice, 1993 Jun 05, Homosexuality)

We’re all prone to temptation, but God doesn’t hold us responsible for the thoughts that cross our minds; only for the actions arising from the thoughts.  For example when someone speaks about me with evil, I may be tempted to repay evil with evil, but that’s just temptation.  The Bahá’í Writings teach us how to treat our enemies:

You must consider your evil-wishers as your well-wishers. Those who are not agreeable toward you must be regarded as those who are congenial and pleasant . . . (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 470)

It’s not quite as easy as it sounds, though:

Bahá’u'lláh has clearly said in His Tablets that if you have an enemy, consider him not as an enemy. Do not simply be long-suffering; nay, rather, love him. Your treatment of him should be that which is becoming to lovers. Do not even say that he is your enemy. Do not see any enemies. Though he be your murderer, see no enemy. Look upon him with the eye of friendship. Be mindful that you do not consider him as an enemy and simply tolerate him, for that is but stratagem and hypocrisy. To consider a man your enemy and love him is hypocrisy. This is not becoming of any soul.         (Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 267)

We can free ourselves from these negative thoughts by submitting ourselves to God, resisting the vain imaginings, and over time, with lots of practice, the thoughts won’t hold us captive anymore.  Many people try to do this on their own and don’t succeed.  We can’t defeat our lower natures alone.  We need to submit to God first, and rise into our higher nature, using a process such as the one described in this quote:

Through sincere and sustained effort, energized by faith in the validity of the Divine Message, and combined with patience with oneself and the loving support of the Bahá’í community, individuals are able to effect a change in their behaviour; as a consequence of this effort they partake of spiritual benefits which liberate them and which bestow a true happiness beyond description. (Letters of The Universal House of Justice, 1993 Jun 05, Homosexuality).

In order to become doers of God’s word, we can ask ourselves:

• Do my thoughts line up with the teachings of God?
• Do they line up with the nature of God?
• Would ‘Abdul-Bahá think or act the way I am thinking or want to act?

Sometimes my past gets in the way of separating me from my lower nature, even if I know better.  Sometimes I do things contrary to God’s will, even when I don’t want to, so it was comforting to come across this quote, which might tell me why:

For once a bird hath grown its wings, it remaineth on the ground no more, but soareth upward into high heaven — except for those birds that are tied by the leg, or those whose wings are broken, or mired down.  (Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 57)

But now that I’m aware, I can choose differently.  I’m coming to see that my lower nature has no blessings to offer – I’m just following a chimera:

The one who compromises with the law for the sake of his own apparent happiness is seen to have been following a chimera: he does not attain the happiness he sought, he retards his spiritual advance and often brings new problems upon himself.  (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 359)

Living in a materialistic society challenges my ability to separate light from dark.  Sometimes my lower nature appears as right, when viewed through the standards current among mankind.  For example, one of the ways I coped with the abuse was through perfectionism, workaholism and being driven.  These were all qualities valued in the workplace, but they weren’t coming from God.

They follow their own desires and walk in the footsteps of the most imper­fect and foolish amongst them. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Will & Testament, p. 18)

. . . perfection – which man can never completely attain (Shoghi Effendi, Living the Life, p. 11)

Regarding the questions you asked in your letter: The only people who are truly free of the “dross of self” are the Prophets for to be free of one’s ego is a hallmark of perfection. We humans are never going to become perfect, for perfection belongs to a realm we are not destined to enter. However, we must constantly mount higher, seek to be more perfect.  (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 453)

I’m learning that what I feed grows, and what I neglect, passes away.  The more I meditate on the words of God, the more it becomes ingrained into me, and becomes who I am.  Rising above my lower nature is one way I can participate in the process of bringing the Kingdom of God to earth.

I adjure Thee by Thy might, O my God! Let no harm beset me in times of tests, and in moments of heedlessness guide my steps aright through Thine inspiration.  (The Báb, Baha’i Prayers, p. 28)

When I follow my lower nature, I’m taking direction from it and making it my God.  This causes great anguish in the Abhá Paradise, as we read in this edited excerpt from the Tablet of the Holy Mariner:

Thereupon the countenance of the favored damsel beamed above the celestial chambers . . . She bestirred herself and perfumed all things in the lands of holiness and grandeur.. .  When she reached that place she rose to her full height in the midmost heart of creation . . . And sought to inhale their fragrance at a time that knoweth neither beginning nor end . . . She found not in them that which she did desire . . . She then cried aloud, wailed and repaired to her own station within her most lofty mansion . . . And raised the call amidst the Celestial Concourse and the immortal maids of heaven . . .  By the Lord! I found not from these idle claimants the breeze of Faithfulness! . . . She then uttered within herself such a cry that the Celestial Concourse did shriek and tremble . . . And she fell upon the dust and gave up the spirit . . . Thereupon the maids of heaven hastened forth from their chambers . . . They all gathered around her, and lo! they found her body fallen upon the dust . . . And as they beheld her state and comprehended a word of the tale told by the Youth, they bared their heads, rent their garments asunder, beat upon their faces, forgot their joy, shed tears and smote with their hands upon their cheeks, and this is verily one of the mysterious grievous afflictions . . . (Bahá’u'lláh, Tablet of the Holy Mariner, Baha’i Prayers, p. 225)

Finally, I’m learning it’s important to separate the person from the sin.  Instead of thinking “there goes an angry person”, I’m learning to say:  ‘there goes a person who has anger”.

This isn’t just semantics.  If anger and rage are removed from a person, what’s left?  Just the person.  This subtle shift allows for compassion.  For example, my father had a lot of rage but he wasn’t (as I formerly insisted) a rage-aholic.  He chose to act in evil ways but he wasn’t evil.  I can hate what he did to me without hating him.  He was only reflecting the evil that was taught to him.

When we recognize we’re coming from our lower natures, and sincerely ready to move into a higher plane, we can ask God for forgiveness, using a prayer such as this:

O God, my God! Have mercy then upon my helpless state, my poverty, my misery, my abasement! Give me to drink from the generous cup of Thy grace and forgiveness, stir me with the sweet scents of Thy love, gladden my bosom with the light of Thy knowledge, purify my soul with the mysteries of Thy oneness, raise me to life with the gentle breeze that cometh from the gardens of Thy mercy — till I sever myself from all else but Thee, and lay hold of the hem of Thy garment of grandeur, and consign to oblivion all that is not Thee, and be companioned by the sweet breathings that waft during these Thy days, and attain unto faithfulness at Thy Threshold of Holiness, and arise to serve Thy Cause, and to be humble before Thy loved ones, and, in the presence of Thy favoured ones, to be nothingness itself.  Verily art Thou the Helper, the Sustainer, the Exalted, the Most Generous.        (Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, pp. 4-5)