Put the Glass Down By Dr.Claude Shema-Rutagengwa, Pr.Dr.Udaya Kumar and Pr.Dr.Dietrich http://www.author-me.com/fict07/puttheglass.htm Once a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, “how much do you think this glass weighs? ’50gms!’?…’100gms…’125gms’…. The students answered, “I really don’t [...]
Put the Glass Down
By Dr.Claude Shema-Rutagengwa, Pr.Dr.Udaya Kumar and Pr.Dr.Dietrich
http://www.author-me.com/fict07/puttheglass.htm
Once a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, “how much do you think this glass weighs? ’50gms!’?…’100gms…’125gms’….
The students answered, “I really don’t know unless I weigh it.”
The professor said, ‘now, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?’
‘Nothing’ the students said.
“OK what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?” the professor asked.
“Your arm would begin to ache” said one of the students.
“You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”
“Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure! Ventured another student”, all the students laughed.
“Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?” Asked the professor.
“No” was the reply of all the students.
“Then what caused the arm to ache; the muscle to stress?” After a pause the professor asked “Before my arm ache, what should I do?”
The students were puzzled.
“Put the glass down!” said one of the students.
“Exactly!” said the professor, “Life’s problems are exactly like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time; they begin to ache. Hold it even longer; they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.”
It’s important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to ‘put them down’ at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh; strong; can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!
Remember to put the glass down everyday!
Feeling judged by others is a fairly universal theme among my clients and friends, so I wanted to share some insights I’ve gained which might help you reframe the way you hear hurtful comments. The spiritual principles you need to understand are the relationship between our lower and higher natures, the principle of neither giving [...]
Feeling judged by others is a fairly universal theme among my clients and friends, so I wanted to share some insights I’ve gained which might help you reframe the way you hear hurtful comments.
The spiritual principles you need to understand are the relationship between our lower and higher natures, the principle of neither giving offence nor taking offence; and the concept of “love languages”.
Dual Natures:
We were born with both a higher and lower nature. The lower nature is the voice of the ego, and the higher nature is the voice of God. You can tell the difference between the two, because one is judging and condemning, and the other is pure love.
It’s common to hear “you should” . . . and immediately go to “I’m not good enough”. Both sentences are lies emanating from our lower nature! The only one who knows what you should do, is God, and you can know His will for you through the Bahá’í Writings.
The truth is that God created you perfect . . .
With the hands of power I made thee and with the fingers of strength I created thee; and within thee have I placed the essence of My light. Be thou content with it and seek naught else, for My work is perfect and My command is binding. Question it not, nor have a doubt thereof. (Baha’u'llah, Hidden Words, Arabic 12)
. . . and noble,
Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. (Bahá’u'lláh, Hidden Words, Arabic 22).
We abase ourselves every time we act from the lower nature, by putting ourselves down or allowing others to do so. You’re good enough for God, and that’s all that matters.
Giving and taking offence:
To protect us from ourselves, the Bahá’í Writings tell us we’re not to give offence nor take offence:
Thus no member should ever allow himself to be prevented from expressing frankly his view because it may offend a fellow member; and, realizing this, no member should take offence at another member’s statements. (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 179-180)
When we “give offence” we are deliberately saying things designed to oppress a soul – another “no-no” in our Faith:
There is no fire in the eyes of those who have known God and His signs, fiercer than to transgress His laws and to oppress another soul, even to the extent of a mustard seed. (The Bab, Selections from the Writings of the Bab, p. 79)
“Taking offence” means believing someone else’s lie – something spoken from their lower nature. The best remedy for that is to see them as captives of their lower nature, and forgive them:
If someone commits an error and wrong toward you, you must instantly forgive him. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 453)
Language of love
Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book called “The Five Languages of Love”. In it, he identifies 5 ways in which people demonstrate their love for each other:
Words of Affirmation: If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time: In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts: Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service: Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch: A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
For example, I’m a person who values quality time and acts of service, and don’t particularly care about getting gifts. As a life coach, I’m likely to think deeply about what my clients tell me and sometimes go overboard finding the exact quotes from the Bahá’í Writings which might help them solve their problems. Sometimes, clients who value words of affirmation “take offence” because I give them lengthy responses which turn into blog postings instead of simply affirming that they are OK where they are. They feel judged instead of feeling loved, and “take offence” when no offence was intended. They don’t understand that I was only acting out of my “love language”.
A note to my life coaching clients: You can be 95% certain that whatever I say, I am not judging you (the other 5% is because I’m human!) One thing you can know for sure, though, is that I can’t bear to give offense. If I know I’ve hurt someone, it hurts me even worse!
Click here to find out what your love language is. You don’t need to give your name and email address. Just click on “skip this step”.
How has your life been affected by giving or taking offence? Post your comments here:
Recently I was listening to a podcast on our relationship to money by my favorite minister, Jeremy McClung of the Muskoka Community Church, which left me asking the question: When is enough, enough? This is an important question to ask especially at this season of excess we call Christmas. In his talk, Jeremy handed out [...]
Recently I was listening to a podcast on our relationship to money by my favorite minister, Jeremy McClung of the Muskoka Community Church, which left me asking the question: When is enough, enough? This is an important question to ask especially at this season of excess we call Christmas.
In his talk, Jeremy handed out index cards and asked us to write “stuff I have” on one side and to write “stuff I want” on the other. We were to make a detailed list of everything we own (land, cars, houses, clothes, electronics, appliances, toys etc).
What surprised me was how much was on my “want” side! Even though I have everything I need, and more, the list of what I wanted was longer than the list of what I owned. This was profound! I urge you to take out a sheet of paper right now and do this exercise for yourself.
My income comes from a small disability pension, supplemented by some paid work, and I live in a small one bedroom apartment in a “geared to income” building. Some people look at my lifestyle and long for me to be better off financially, and sometimes I wonder if they’re right. On the one hand, the Bahá’í Writings say:
Having attained the stage of fulfilment and reached his maturity, man standeth in need of wealth, and such wealth as he acquireth through crafts or professions is commendable and praiseworthy in the estimation of men of wisdom. (The Universal House of Justice, Messages 1963 to 1986, p. 437)
My well-wishers see the transformative path I’ve been on for the past couple of decades, and how far I’ve come in ridding myself of the anxiety and depression that robbed me of my life, and they think it’s time for me to get back into the “real world” and get paid for all the work I do.
I ask myself: can I make a living doing all the things I do, so that I can get off my disability pension? For years, I took the following Writing to heart, and tried to apply it.
The best of men are they that earn a livelihood by their calling. (Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words, 82)
Working in corrupt work places just made me sicker.
Now, this quotes shows how I long to live my life:
Thou hast asked regarding the means of livelihood. Trust in God and engage in your work and practice economy; the confirmations of God shall descend and you will be enabled to pay off your debts. Be ye occupied always with the mention of Bahá’u'lláh and seek ye no other hope and desire save Him. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 375)
Through quotes like this I’ve come to realize that my job is to take care of the work and God’s job is to take care of the money. It doesn’t say “paid work”, and God’s way of taking care of the money doesn’t always come from a paycheque! I have been taken care of in ways I couldn’t have imagined (from soup kitchens and food banks that treat me as a “guest”; to random strangers sending me money in the mail; to finding ways to barter; to people giving me clothes and yes, even from some paid employment. I have more than enough, and I am grateful.
The question is: do you want to live like that? It will mean a lifestyle very unlike the ones you’ve had to date.
Have you heard about the Peace Pilgrim? She’s one of my heroines. When she was in her mid-40’s, she decided to walk across the United States, and continued to do so for 28 years, to talk to people about the importance of peace. All she had were the clothes on her back; a smock with a pencil and a small pad of paper; a comb and toothbrush, and that was it. She had no organizational backing, carried no money, and would not even ask for food or shelter. She travelled in the south during the winter and the north during the summer. She had absolutely nothing – no means to support herself except total reliance on God. She said in all the years she did it, there were only 3 days in a row where she didn’t have anything to eat or anywhere to sleep. Every single other day, people would feed her and/or invite her to spend the night. One time she was walking in a freak snow storm. It was so snowy that she couldn’t see 5 feet in front of her, so she walked down an embankment to huddle under a bridge, out of the blinding snow, and there she found a fridge-size cardboard box, with a blanket and pillow in it! Without a word of a lie! God took care of her every need, even before she knew she had it. Click here to read reviews about her biography.
I found her total detachment really inspiring! Since then I’ve had many glimmers of how this works in my own life, which is “poor” by many people’s standards, and yet, I have had a rich and full life; totally blessed, to be able to do the work I love.
In terms of acquiring wealth, the Bahá’í Writings also say:
In earthly riches fear is hidden and peril is concealed. (Baha’u'llah, Tablets of Baha’u'llah, p. 219)
There’s a great story which illustrates the principle that the best possible life is not by having more stuff, but by letting go.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá told a story about a Persian believer’s journeys and how he could not sleep at night while in the wilderness for fear of someone stealing his new shirt, a new gift from a prominent person. After several sleepless nights he decided to get rid of the shirt so he could relax. (Rafati, Vahid, Sources of Persian Poetry in the Baha’i Writings, Vol. lll, p. 80)
I understand what this means! One time I had so many journals filled with insights about my childhood and all that I’d suffered and how it made me the person I was. I was attached to these journals and longed for my son to read them someday, to know who I was. I was so afraid that they would get ruined in a flood or fire that I was actually contemplating buying metal boxes to put them in to keep them safe! I realized the folly of this thinking, and because I was soon going on pilgrimage and wanted to empty myself before I went, I threw them all into the garbage dump (where they belonged!) instead.
Another time I was going out with someone who lived in a small village where everyone knew everyone else. He was in fear that someone would steal his antiques and was considering buying an alarm system for the house. I couldn’t imagine living with so much fear and suspicion. It would be different if he was in downtown Detroit, but the crime rate in this village was next to nothing. Surely it would be better to live with just enough, than to live in fear all the time!
When you move, you find out how much stuff you have; and how much you want. When I was pioneering to Labrador, I took this quote seriously:
Reliance on God is indeed the strongest and safest weapon which the Bahá’í teacher can carry. (Shoghi Effendi, Power of Divine Assistance, p. 221).
What this meant to me was that I was to go with total reliance on God, trusting Him to meet all my needs, just as the Peace Pilgrim had. I sold or gave away just about all of my worldly goods. I arrived in Labrador City with 2 cats and 2 suitcases; one suitcase was filled with cat supplies and the other had my clothes; a sleeping bag and inflatable air mattress; a pot, pan, and dishes and cutlery for 2 (so I could invite someone over for a meal). I had enough! I had everything I needed to live quite comfortably. I got a 3 bedroom unfurnished apartment (which was easier to find than a 1 bedroom); and could have lived with so little forever! Unfortunately our culture demands a certain lifestyle, though, and within 6 months I had that apartment filled with furniture and kitchen supplies (mostly acquired through yard sales and moving sales). When is enough, enough? I had enough, but I wanted more. I wanted to look like everyone else, but I didn’t need any of it.
Most of our “stuff” makes our lives easier or better in some ways. What we fail to realize is that much of it also takes something from us in terms of storage, cleaning, repairs and maintenance. It’s not a wonder how stressed we feel! Houses are a good example. When we buy our first house, we have to furnish it; and then buy all the tools to maintain it (ladders, lawn mowers, snow blowers etc. The list is endless!). When I was a home owner, I was always caught unprepared when the roof leaked, or the furnace needed replacing or when the tiles fell off the bathroom walls. I couldn’t afford the repairs and didn’t know where the money was going to come from. Needless to say, it went on the credit card, and then I was so far in debt, I nearly faced bankruptcy more than once. Now I live in an apartment and all the energy I used to spend on mowing lawns and maintaining gardens and shovelling snow, can be used in service to others; and all the money I save in not having to maintain a home has gone into paying off my debts so I can live debt free. It’s a much simpler lifestyle and has freed me up both financially and emotionally.
Have you ever wondered why people in cultures where they have nothing, seem so much happier? It’s because the more stuff we have, the more stress we have. I think it’s why we love to go camping. We take everything we need with us, and leave the rest behind. Most Canadians take more stuff camping than most of the rest of the world owns.
Despite what the “Occupy” movement would have us believe, the average North Americans are some of the richest people on the globe. The following really puts it into perspective:
If you could fit the entire population of the world into a village consisting of 100 people, maintaining the proportions of all the people living on Earth, that village would consist of:
- 57 Asians
- 21 Europeans
- 14 Americans (North, Central and South)
- 8 Africans
There would be:
- 52 women and 48 men
- 30 Caucasians and 70 non-Caucasians
- 30 Christians and 70 non-Christians
In addition:
If we looked at the world in this way, the need for acceptance and understanding would be obvious. But, consider again the following…
- If you have never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture, were not close to death from starvation, then you are better off than 500 million people
- If you can go to your place of worship without fear that someone will assault or kill you, then you are luckier than 3 billion (that’s right) people.
- If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 75% of the world’s population.
- If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet and a few coins in your purse, you are one of 8 of the privileged few amongst the 100 people in the world.
- If your parents are still alive and still married, you’re a rare individual.
- If you’re reading this message, you’re extremely lucky, because you don’t comprise one of those 2 billion people who still can’t read. (source unknown: http://www.movebeyond.net/417/know-no-limits/quote/lightening-in-a-jar/ )
Some people have suggested: “the more wealth I attain, the more I will be able to travel to developing countries to help others or donate to worthy causes”. I’m not sure that’s true. It’s certainly part of the prevailing wisdom, but only God knows what He wants from us. One the one hand He says:
If wealth and prosperity become the means of service at God’s Threshold, it is highly meritorious; otherwise it would be better to avoid them. (The Universal House of Justice, Messages 1963 to 1986, p. 437)
On the other, the Bahá’í Writings tell us that more and lasting things are accomplished by poor people, than by rich:
How many kings have flourished in luxury and in a brief moment all has disappeared! Their glory and their honor are forgotten. Where are all these sovereigns now? But those who have been servants of the divine beauty are never forgotten. The result of their works is everywhere visible. What king is there of two thousand years ago whose kingdom has lived in the hearts? But those disciples who were devoted to God – poor people who had neither fortune nor position – are to-day trees bearing fruit. Their banner is raised higher every day. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Divine Philosophy, p. 137)
I’ve learned that a life well lived doesn’t consist of an abundance of possessions. Sometimes we use “stuff” to fill the holes in our soul, but we aren’t going to find what we want from more stuff. There’s danger in having more than you need, because it only creates more wants. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more; or having aspirations – but the danger is that it distracts us from what’s really important. We can spend so many hours focused on getting this “one thing” that we aren’t living in the present moment and we aren’t focused on what really matters – teaching, service and acquiring virtues.
For example, I knew that I would be getting some money from my father’s estate, so for the three years it took for the money to arrive, I was continually thinking of what I wanted to spend it on. I set up a spreadsheet to keep track of it all; spent hours researching every item carefully, to make sure I knew that I was buying the best possible quality for my money. I measured and remeasured to make sure it would fit. When the money finally came, I threw it all out and decided to buy a car instead! I wasted hours of my life on this endeavor! And even when I got the car, I didn’t like it and traded it in on another one, losing money in the process. What a waste! I was certainly heedless of this quote:
Some men’s lives are solely occupied with the things of this world; their minds are so circumscribed by exterior manners and traditional interests that they are blind to any other realm of existence, to the spiritual significance of all things! They think and dream of earthly fame, of material progress. Sensuous delights and comfortable surroundings bound their horizon, their highest ambitions centre in successes of worldly conditions and circumstances! They curb not their lower propensities; they eat, drink, and sleep! Like the animal, they have no thought beyond their own physical well-being. It is true that these necessities must be despatched. Life is a load which must be carried on while we are on earth, but the cares of the lower things of life should not be allowed to monopolize all the thoughts and aspirations of a human being. The heart’s ambitions should ascend to a more glorious goal, mental activity should rise to higher levels! Men should hold in their souls the vision of celestial perfection, and there prepare a dwelling-place for the inexhaustible bounty of the Divine Spirit. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 98)
We don’t like to think of ourselves as greedy, but when I looked at the list on the other side of my index card, and truly understood my position in the world, I had to realize that I was. We all need to be on guard against all kinds of greed, especially at Christmas. The Bahá’í Writings tell us:
He should be content with little and free from avarice. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i Scriptures, p. 50)
Why, then, exhibit such greed in amassing the treasures of the earth, when your days are numbered and your chance is well-nigh lost? Will ye not, then, O heedless ones, shake off your slumber? (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 127)
There is a danger in becoming attached to what we have. Another story I like illustrates this point:
Whereas riches may become a mighty barrier between man and God, and rich people are often in great danger of attachment, yet people with small worldly possessions can also become attached to material things. The following Persian story of a king and a dervish illustrates this.
Once there was a king who had many spiritual qualities and whose deeds were based on justice and loving-kindness. He often envied the dervish who had renounced the world and appeared to be free from the cares of this material life, for he roamed the country, slept in any place when night fell and chanted the praises of his Lord during the day. He lived in poverty, yet thought he owned the whole world. His only possessions were his clothes and a basket in which he carried the food donated by his well-wishers. The king was attracted to this way of life. Once he invited a well-known dervish to his palace, sat at his feet and begged him for some lessons about detachment. The dervish was delighted with the invitation. He stayed a few days in the palace and whenever the king was free preached the virtues of a mendicant’s life to him. At last the king was converted. One day, dressed in the garb of a poor man, he left his palace in the company of the dervish. They had walked together some distance when the dervish realized that he had left his basket behind in the palace. This disturbed him greatly and, informing the king that he could not go without his basket, he begged permission to return for it. But the king admonished him, saying that he himself had left behind his palaces, his wealth and power, whereas the dervish, who had preached for a lifetime the virtues of detachment, had at last been tested and was found to be attached to this world — his small basket. (Adib Taherzadeh, The Revelation of Baha’u'llah v 1, p. 76-77)
Contentment is being happy with what we have, and being grateful for it. This is what it means to be truly rich. Baha’u'llah has given us this prayer, which says in part:
Bestow upon me my portion, O Lord, as Thou pleasest, and cause me to be satisfied with whatsoever thou hast ordained for me. Thine is the absolute authority to command. (The Báb, Baha’i Prayers, p. 55)
We have enough. All of us! Ask yourself: If I never get another thing, could I be content with what I have? Most of us would have to answer yes!
I don’t think we’re all being called to get rid of everything we own and give it to the poor or pioneer to Africa, but to be able to get to the point where you could do it, is the kind of heart change God is looking for.
God might be calling you to let go of your stuff; or to change the way you relate to it; or to give it all to Him; or to pay Huqúq on it so it’s purified. Pray about what you’re learning here, and pay attention to what you’re being called on to do with this information. And realize that you have enough!
by Susan Gammage, Baha’i Life Coach Detachment – Forgiveness – Faith – Trust – Hope All spiritual principles encouraged in the Bahá’í Faith as well as other religions, but how do we apply them to painful situations that continue to plague our lives? In order to live a full and complete life, we must learn [...]
by Susan Gammage, Baha'i Life Coach
All spiritual principles encouraged in the Bahá’í Faith as well as other religions, but how do we apply them to painful situations that continue to plague our lives?
In order to live a full and complete life, we must learn how to let go of past failures and disappointments and not carry them with us into our future.
Hanging on to pain, bitterness and disappointment from a past conflict is a heavy burden. It affects your moods, attitudes, relationships, job and all aspects of your life. Negativity eats away at your self-esteem and destroys any possibility of a life free from pain.
Fortunately, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel! Your future doesn’t have to be a repetition of your past. You don’t need to be destined to a life of pain, regardless of what you’ve already been through. You can lay down your burdens. It’s okay for you to be free. In fact, you deserve it!
These six steps will help you move forward and find the freedom you need to begin living a fuller, more enjoyable life, regardless of what lies in your past:
1. Talk about it. Discuss your past pain, fear, disappointment or trauma with a trusted friend or family member. Fully express the feelings associated with the situation: cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do to release the bottled up emotions in a safe way.
Until you really talk about the feelings connected to your past, you may not be able to move past them. Once you’ve spoken the words, release them from your mind forever. As hard as it may be, it’s the only way to free yourself from your past.
…let us turn our hearts away from the world of matter and live in the spiritual world! It alone can give us freedom! (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 110)
2. Use a journal. Writing in a journal is an excellent way to pour out your pain. A journal offers the safety of knowing your words are just for you and won’t be read by anyone else. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, or even if the words follow a logical progression, simply write from the heart.
Physically writing your thoughts and feelings can release your emotions so you can move past them.
And as you come to the end of your writing, reflect on the good that came out of the event.
To look always at the good and not at the bad. If a man has ten good qualities and one bad one, to look at the ten and forget the one. And if a man has ten bad qualities and one good one, to look at the one and forget the ten. (Dr. J.E. Esselmont, Bahá’u’lláh and the New Era, p. 83)
3. Seek forgiveness. Many people misunderstand the meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened to you is unimportant or you’re saying it’s “okay.” In fact, forgiveness isn’t about the other person at all.
Forgiveness simply means that you’ve made the choice to let go of the desire to exact revenge and punishment, and you’ve found closure within your heart and soul.
Forgiveness releases you from the burden of carrying the pain any longer. By choosing to forgive, you can stop thinking about the past so it won’t control your future.
The Bahá’í Writings tell us:
You are urged to strive to develop for¬giveness in your heart . . . and to attain a level of insight which sees them as captives of their lower nature, whose actions can only lead them deeper into unhappiness and separation from God. By this means, you can liberate yourself from the anger to which you refer in your letter. (Universal House of Justice to an individual, Dec. 2, 1985)
4. Seek professional guidance. You can choose to get help from a life coach or therapist. The people closest to us aren’t always the best choice to help us work through our pain. It may be difficult for us to fully open up about our deepest pain or it may be hard for them to step back far enough to help us through it.
Seeking guidance from a professional gives us the safety of relative anonymity, which can make it easier to share our problems. Often a coach or counselor can help us see a new point of view, which can help us move forward. If you need the help of a life coach, Susan provides the first 30 minutes at no cost to you. Click here to email her for more information.
5. Use alternative therapies. There are many techniques you can use to help change your mindset, which can be instrumental in leaving the past behind.
One method, known as EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, uses the principles of acupuncture (without the needles!) to help you take the “charge” out of your feelings. EFT is done by tapping with your fingertips on the meridian points in the upper part of your body.
The tapping sequence, combined with verbally expressing your feelings, helps break up the blockage of energy caused by the negative feelings, allowing you to release them. For more information, do a Google search – there are lots of good articles on EFT out there.
6. Read the Bahá’í Writings, morning and night. Not only is it a requirement, it serves a practical function as well. As we see in the Bahá’í Writings:
Peruse My verses with joy and radiance. Verily they will attract you unto God and will enable you to detach yourselves from all save this resplendent Tablet. (Bahá’u'lláh, The Compilation of Compilations, vol. I, p. 188)
Hanging onto past negativity isn’t necessary. No matter what your history contains, you can learn to release it and move forward into a life filled with contentment and joy. Find a method that works for you and begin, today, to let go of the past and move into the life you deserve!
by Susan Gammage, Baha’i Life Coach In my life coaching practice, I’m often asked what the Bahá’í Writings teach about setting goals and keeping focused on the most important tasks. Each day, there are dozens of tasks calling our names, at work, at home and in our Bahá’í communities. With life being so busy it’s [...]
by Susan Gammage, Baha'i Life Coach
In my life coaching practice, I’m often asked what the Bahá’í Writings teach about setting goals and keeping focused on the most important tasks. Each day, there are dozens of tasks calling our names, at work, at home and in our Bahá’í communities. With life being so busy it’s easy to lose focus on the big picture. Shoghi Effendi offered some guidance when he said:
[They] must approach their task with absolute detachment, and must concentrate their attention on the most important and pressing issues. (Principles of Bahai Administration, p. 67)
But, how many times have you gone to bed wondering what you actually accomplished that day? Or have you ever felt like your day was somehow wasted?
To avoid these feelings, you can try a few different methods to get yourself back on track. Rather than bemoaning your wasted time, resolve to regain your focus and get back on task.
There’s a famous quote about focus by the great philosopher Confucius: “If you chase two rabbits, you catch none.” True, there might be people who are able to multitask and do it relatively well; but more often than not, people who split their attention between two different tasks have a more difficult time completing both tasks well.That’s where detachment becomes so important.
Here are five ways to regain your focus and get back on task:
1.Eliminate the distractions. Get rid of the barriers that are causing you to avoid getting things done – it’s that simple! Forget about checking email every five minutes; those emails will still be there when you complete your task. Make a list of distractions and eliminate!
·Turn off the phone and let the voice mail take over.
·Close the blinds in your office.
·Turn off the music if you find yourself singing more than working.
·Simply closing the door to your office can give you more privacy and more focus.
2.Prioritize your work. Rather than working on projects simultaneously, take one thing at a time, focus on it, and worry about all the other projects later. Ultimately, you’ll get a lot more done and you’ll finish it more quickly. You’ll also be recognized by the high quality that you deliver when you’re free from distractions. As the Bahá’í Writings teach:
“Leave the important for the most important” (Shoghi Effendi, Quickeners of Mankind, p. 109)
·Find a way to prioritize that works best for you. Choose either the project that has the earliest deadline or the one with the least components so you can finish it quickly and get it out of the way. There are pros and cons to both systems so tackle it whichever way works for you.
3.Tell everyone to respect your time. There are many nice and respectful ways to tell people to back off. If you’re finding yourself in a time crunch and can’t seem to get away from others, consider letting them know that you need time to finish some important tasks. There are a lot of different ways to do it – just make sure you do!
·Set times that you’ll accept phone calls and even visitors. Tell them to contact you by email and then set a regular time to check your email.
·Set business hours during which people can expect you to return their calls or emails.
4.Set some limitations with your internet access. The internet is wonderful but it can be a huge time waster, especially if you work at a computer all day long. Regain your focus with some self-imposed rules.
·First, close all those windows you’re not using. Avoid MySpace or Facebook, quit searching on eBay, and leave messenger alone!
·Establish certain times each day to use these fun things and just focus on what you have to do. You’ll quickly accomplish more!
5.Have confidence in your abilities. This may seem like a really small thing when it comes to focusing and getting back on task, but believing that you can get everything done that you set out to do puts you in a positive frame of mind and you’ll be less distracted with stress and worry.
·Have confidence that you can complete each task with ease and believe in your ability to deliver. If you’ll just have the confidence, you’re sure to have the focus!
Now that you’ve been introduced to five ways to focus and get back on task, it’s up to you to take action and learn how to focus your thoughts. If you’ve got to get stuff done, follow these steps so you can put yourself – and your goals – first!
What helps you to focus and get back on track?Post your comments here.