Are you tired of being sick, angry, tormented?  Can you see that you are living in abasement by holding on to these negative emotions? As we’ve seen, Bitterness doesn’t take root overnight.  We’ve been trained generationally how to respond to perceived injustice.  Now that we know this, it’s time to break the stronghold, and [...]

 

Are you tired of being sick, angry, tormented?  Can you see that you are living in abasement by holding on to these negative emotions?

As we’ve seen, Bitterness doesn’t take root overnight.  We’ve been trained generationally how to respond to perceived injustice.  Now that we know this, it’s time to break the stronghold, and give God a chance to work miracles in your spirit.

Bitterness is inside us because we let it come in and agreed to let it dwell inside us.  Now that we know that, we can make a different choice.  There’s only one person strong enough to cast bitterness out and that is God.

Someone has to change the dance, and now that we have “eyes to see and ears to hear” the causes and effects, it’s up to us.  So how do we do it?  First we have to get right with God, ourselves and others.  The first step is to educate ourselves by reading the Baha’i Writings morning and evening, so we know what God wants us to do, and how to do it.

The individual must be educated to such a high degree that he would rather have his throat cut than tell a lie, and would think it easier to be slashed with a sword or pierced with a spear than to utter calumny or be carried away by wrath.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 136-137)

In relationship to God, we need to:

1.  Look Towards God:  He has the answers!  We can’t learn how to change a bitter heart by looking towards other imperfect souls.

Look ye not upon the creatures, turn ye to their Creator. See ye not the never-yielding people, see but the Lord of Hosts. Gaze ye not down upon the dust, gaze upward at the shining sun, which hath caused every patch of darksome earth to glow with light.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 73)

2.  Recognize God’s love for us:  All of the negative thoughts need to be replaced with a certainty of God’s love.

 

For love of God and spiritual attraction do cleanse and purify the human heart and dress and adorn it with the spotless garment of holiness.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 202-203)

3.  Recognize the power of the Holy Spirit:  There is only one power that can help us, and that’s the power of the Holy Spirit:

The only power that is capable of delivering man from this captivity is the power of the Holy Spirit. The attraction of the power of the Holy Spirit is so effective that it keeps man ever on the path of upward ascension.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’í Scriptures, p. 241)

4.  Remember that all things are from God, including the wrongs that are done to us:

Say: all things are of God.’ This exalted utterance is like unto water for quenching the fire of hate and enmity which smouldereth within the hearts and breasts of men. By this single utterance contending peoples and kindreds will attain the light of true unity. Verily He speaketh the truth and leadeth the way.  (Baha’u'llah, Tablets of Baha’u'llah, p. 222)

In relationship to ourselves, we need to:

1.  Wake Up:  If we’re going through life on auto-pilot, we can’t make changes.

Those who are asleep must be awakened; the indifferent must become mindful and attentive. But all this must be accomplished in the spirit of kindness and love.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 397)

2.  Stop!: As the Bible tells us:  “Be still and know that I am God”.  We can’t make changes when we’re rushing through life, doing things the way we’ve always done them.  We need to stop rushing to become conscious and able to hear God’s wisdom.

For thousands of years we have had bloodshed and strife. It is enough; it is sufficient. Now is the time to associate together in love and harmony.   (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 31)

3.  Pay attention to Thoughts:  We need to pay attention to our thoughts and separate the lies from the truth.

Reflect that man’s power of thought consists of two kinds. One kind is true, when it agrees with a determined truth. Such conceptions find realization in the exterior world; such are accurate opinions, correct theories, scientific discoveries and inventions.  The other kind of conceptions is made up of vain thoughts and useless ideas which yield neither fruit nor result, and which have no reality. No, they surge like the waves of the sea of imaginations, and they pass away like idle dreams.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 250)

4.  Detachment:  Although God wants you to forgive the people you have bitterness against, if they do not respond to you, then it is not your problem.  You have to come before God personally to get your freedom.  The resolution comes from God.

Separate thyself from all thoughts, strip thyself from the unclean garment of attachment to this drossful (or earthly) world, arise for the service of thy Lord, the Clement, and be clothed with the robe of assurance (or certainty) so that thou mayest behold the hosts of confirmation from thy Lord arising from all sides.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of Abdu’l-Bahá v3, p. 650)

5.  Don’t give thoughts of bitterness any importance: This will help you step off the “hamster wheel” of negative thinking.

Attach no importance to . . . rejection, arrogance, oppression and enmity. Heed them not. Deal in the contrary way.   (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 216)

6.  Turn away from ideas that degrade:  By turning away from the negative thoughts we harbor towards others, we are free to return to our true station and purpose in life.  We can’t know and worship God as long as we are focusing on our bitterness towards others.

He must turn away from ideas which degrade the human soul, so that day by day and hour by hour he may advance upward and higher to spiritual perception of the continuity of the human reality. (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 236)

7.  Change Thoughts:  When we think negative thoughts towards others, it is an act of war.

I charge you all that each one of you concentrate all the thoughts of your heart on love and unity. When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love. Thoughts of war bring destruction to all harmony, well-being, restfulness and content.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 29)

8  Stop the animal side from becoming dominant:  Our lower nature’s job is to destroy us; to keep us from God.  Our job is to defeat and overcome it.

This human reality stands between two grades, between the world of the animal and the world of Divinity. Were the animal in man to become predominant, man would become even lower than the brute. Were the heavenly powers in man to become predominant, man would become the most superior being in the world of existence.  (‘Abdul-Bahá, Baha’i Scriptures, p. 296-297)

9.  Intentions and Goodwill:  If we have the intention to change our bitterness into forgiveness, love and acceptance, it will be granted to us.

Certain philosophers have considered intention superior to action, for the goodwill is absolute light; it is purified and sanctified from the impurities of selfishness, of enmity, of deception. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 302)

10.  Overlook the Shortcomings of Others:

You also ask what one should do to ‘handle depression and anger with someone’ one feels ‘very positively about’. The Universal House of Justice suggests that you call to mind the admonitions found in our writings on the need to overlook the shortcomings of others, to forgive and conceal their misdeeds, not to expose their bad qualities, but to search for and affirm their praiseworthy ones, and endeavour to be always forbearing, patient, and merciful. Such passages as the following extract from one of the letter written on behalf of the beloved Guardian by his secretary will also be helpful:  Each of us is responsible for one life only, and that is our own. Each of us is immeasurably far from being “perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect: and the task of perfecting our own life and character is one that requires all our attention, our will-power and energy… On no subject are the Bahá’í teachings more emphatic that on the necessity to abstain from fault-finding, while being ever eager to discover and root out our own faults and overcome our own failings. (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 90-91)

11. Forgiveness:  The key to getting free is to forgive, and leave them in God’s hands.    When you don’t forgive someone else, why would God forgive you?  He tells us “We are all sinners”, so we all need forgiveness.  We have to eliminate bitterness through forgiveness in order to be free.

As a devoted believer you are urged to strive to develop for­giveness in your heart toward your parents who have abused you in so disgraceful a manner . . .  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to this author, 9 September, 1992)

In our relations with other people, we need:

 

1.  Gentle Speech:

A harsh word is like unto a sword, but gentle speech is like unto milk. The children of the world attain to knowledge and better themselves through this.  (Compilations, Baha’i Scriptures, p. 132)

2.  Find a point of agreement:

The purpose of these new laws is to destroy antagonism by finding a point of agreement. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Divine Philosophy, p. 84)

3.  Postpone discussion:

When you notice that a stage has been reached when enmity and threats are about to occur, you should immediately postpone discussion of the subject, until wranglings, disputations, and loud talk vanish, and a propitious time is at hand.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Lights of Guidance, p. 178)

4. Emulate the Institutions:

Therefore mankind must continue in the state of fellowship and love, emulating the institutions of God and turning away from satanic promptings, for the divine bestowals bring forth unity and agreement whereas satanic leadings induce hatred and war.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 233)

 

Conclusion: ‘Abdu’l-Bahá says it best:

Therefore, make use of intelligence and reason so that you may dispel these dense clouds from the horizon of human hearts and all hold to the one reality of all the Prophets. It is most certain that if human souls exercise their respective reason and intelligence upon the divine questions, the power of God will dispel every difficulty, and the eternal realities will appear as one light, one truth, one love, one God and a peace that is universal.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 79)

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

 

 

 

 

 

  Anytime you hear a “should”, it’s a real warning sign of bitterness towards yourself. Anytime you find yourself judging yourself, remember that: For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and . . . the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst [...]

 

Anytime you hear a “should”, it’s a real warning sign of bitterness towards yourself.

Anytime you find yourself judging yourself, remember that:

For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and . . . the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 264)

The “tongue” in this case, can be the negative thoughts you have against yourself.

God’s love for us always comes in loving thoughts, so we can be sure that when we use the Writings to beat ourselves up, that does not come from God.

For example:

There is a never-ending list of things to do in the Baha’i Community, especially where there are so few active believers.  There’s a tendency to think “it’s all up to me”.  This can be supported by subtle coercion from immature individuals serving in administrative roles, who don’t understand how dangerous this line of thinking can be.  I think this is why the House of Justice suggested in its recent letter:  “consult as a body on one or two specific issues with immediate relevance to the life of the community” (Universal House of Justice, to the Continental Board of Counsellors, 28 December 2010)

Do you recognize any of these thoughts?:

• I want to be a martyr for the Faith because it says:  “. . . then write with that crimson ink that hath been shed in My path. Sweeter indeed is this to Me than all else, that its light may endure for ever”.  (Baha’u'llah, Hidden Words, Arabic 71).

• I want to be like ‘Abdu’l-Bahá because it says in the Writings:  “Look at me, follow me, be as I am; take no thought for yourselves or your lives, whether ye eat or whether ye sleep, whether ye are comfortable, whether ye are well or ill, whether ye are with friends or foes, whether ye receive praise or blame; for all these things ye must care not at all.”  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i Scriptures, p. 503)

• I want to be sacrificial and long suffering, like the Greatest Holy Leaf:  “You should, however, take courage and resign to the will of God when you see what the Greatest Holy Leaf had to face during her life.  All you may suffer is nothing compared to what she had to endure; and yet how joyous and hopeful she used always to be!”   (Shoghi Effendi, Bahíyyih Khánum, p. 87)

• If I don’t do more, it will delay the onset of the “Most Great Peace”.  It’s all on my shoulders:  “Thou knowest that in my love for Thee I have not sought any rest, that in proclaiming Thy Cause I have denied myself every manner of tranquillity, and that in the observance of whatever Thou hast prescribed in Thy Tablets I have not delayed to do Thy bidding.  (Baha’u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha’u'llah, p. 151)

How often have you forced yourself to do something because you “should”, only to find yourself resentful later when we’ve taken on too much?  Then you withdraw to protect yourself and your time, and perhaps even become inactive, and then hate yourself when you realize you don’t want to serve God anymore. Then you become even bitter towards the institutions who ask you to serve more. And so the downward cycle begins.

Our lower nature is a deceiver; telling us lies such as these.  We need to know how to recognize when it’s happening.  We can’t resist it if we don’t know how it works or what the truth is.

The truth:  The Baha’i Faith allows for “time off”:

The Bahá’ís, in spite of their self-sacrificing desire to give the last drop of their strength to serving the Cause, must guard against utterly depleting their forces and having breakdowns. For this can sometimes do more harm than good.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 279.)

There is no object in over-taxing your will power and strength by forcing yourself to do things for the Cause. You should let your mind rest in the thought of the infinite love, Mercy and Forgiveness of Bahá’u'lláh, and cease to fret about whether you are or are not doing your share until you fully recover your health.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 282).

You are encouraged to follow the advice of your therapist in regard to the absences which you should take from your employment in order to facilitate your healing from the trauma you experienced in the past. The time taken away from work beneficial to society would doubtless be more than compensated for by the increase in effective­ness with which you will be able to perform such functions when your healing is more advanced. (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 22 December, 1992.)

You have asked what to do since psychological problems sometimes make it difficult for you to participate in community events and As­sembly meetings. In striving to follow the Teachings and the best medi­cal advice you can obtain, you will want to remember that the healing you do now is an investment that will enable you to better serve in the future. Ideally, you would combine concentrating on healing with av­enues of service which do not interfere with it.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 23 October, 1994.)

You should have no doubt that the completion of any act of service is contingent on one’s health and well-being, and you are urged to let go of the misconception of failure you have been carrying. In the course of life, unforeseen circumstances occur that can interfere with the achievement of our goals. This is part of life in this world and must not be regarded as a dereliction of duty. (Universal House of Justice to an individual, 12 January 2010)

Shoghi Effendi had to take a “leave of absence” from his job “under the weight of sorrows and boundless grief” until “by the grace of God, having gained health, strength, self confidence and spiritual energy” he was able to return. (Ruhiyyih Rabbani, The Priceless Pearl, p. 42.)

Although we need to serve on an Assembly if called on, we can ask to be excused from taking on a position as an officer:

We have also been asked to point out that although it is the obligation of a Bahá’í to serve on an Assembly, either Local or National, when elected . . . However, there is no objection for an overburdened believer asking the Spiritual Assembly to which he may be elected not to appoint him as an officer or to a committee.  (Universal House of Justice, NSA USA – Developing Distinctive Baha’i Communities)

We need to be filled up with the word of God AND be able to discern which Writing applies to us.  There’s an easy test we can apply:  If it makes you feel bad, it’s not from God.  The spiritual world only bestows joy.

Every good thing is of God, and every evil thing is from yourselves. Will ye not comprehend?   (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 149)

Our lower nature preys to our weakness.  For example, if I believe I’m not enough, I’ll find the quotes to prove it.  This is not what God means by calling ourselves to account.

How strange then it seems that man, notwithstanding his endowment with this ideal power, will descend to a level beneath him and declare himself no greater than that which is manifestly inferior to his real station. God has created such a conscious spirit within him that he is the most wonderful of all contingent beings. In ignoring these virtues he descends to the material plane, considers matter the ruler of existence and denies that which lies beyond. Is this virtue? In its fullest sense this is animalistic, for the animal realizes nothing more.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 236)

Inside the Baha’i Community

How many of us have been bullied, abused, tormented or wounded by someone we thought cared about us?  Then we find ourselves in a Baha’i community, where the same dynamics are playing themselves out!

Perhaps the greatest test Bahá’ís are ever subjected to is from each other; but for the sake of the Master they should be ever ready to overlook each other’s mistakes, apologize for harsh words they have uttered, forgive and forget. He strongly recommends to you this course of action.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 601).

Again, our job is to forgive in order to be able to “overlook the mistakes”.  How many times?  A hundred-thousand!

If a person falls into errors for a hundred-thousand times he may yet turn his face to you, hopeful that you will forgive his sins; for he must not become hopeless, neither grieved nor despondent. This is the conduct and the manner of the people of Bahá’. This is the foundation of the most high pathway!  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of Abdu’l-Bahá v2, p. 436)

Wow!  The standard is very high!  If we think we have to do it all by ourselves, we’d never be able to forgive even once, but as we saw above, God is ever-ready to assist.  All we have to do is turn our attention to Him and trust that He won’t let us down.

Lack of education could be playing a factor:

But the most essential thing is that the people must be educated in such a way that no crimes will be committed; for it is possible to educate the masses so effectively that they will avoid and shrink from perpetrating crimes, so that the crime itself will appear to them as the greatest chastisement, the utmost condemnation and torment. Therefore, no crimes which require punishment will be committed.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 268-269)

Here ‘Abdu’l-Bahá is talking about crimes and criminals, but when someone offends us, isn’t this how we see them?  As having created a crime against us, for which they need to be punished?

Perhaps they are victims of their lower nature and don’t have “eyes to see” or “ears to hear” how much their behavior is hurting us.

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

 

 

 

  When we’ve been the victim of injustice, it’s easy to want to separate ourselves from the perpetrator.  Sometimes there is a good reason to do so, and sometimes it’s an opportunity to exercise our forgiveness muscle. God wants us to live peacefully with all men.  Easier said than done! If something happens to us [...]

 

When we’ve been the victim of injustice, it’s easy to want to separate ourselves from the perpetrator.  Sometimes there is a good reason to do so, and sometimes it’s an opportunity to exercise our forgiveness muscle.

God wants us to live peacefully with all men.  Easier said than done!

If something happens to us which we feel is unforgiveable, it can lead to estrangement and as you know from Ruhi Book 1:

Nothing whatsoever can, in this Day, inflict a greater harm upon this Cause than . . .  estrangement .  .  . among the loved ones of God. (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p.

This quote goes on to tell us what to do, if we notice ourselves falling into this trap (as I am, as I write a piece on bitterness for my blog!) What follows is a personal reflection on how to apply the Writings to a rather minor situation in the present.

My son has promised to do something I asked him to do, and nearly two weeks have passed and he still hasn’t done it.  Every day I look for evidence that he’s done it and every day I imagine a counter-action I could take as a result of my resentment.  Here God’s giving me a better way:

Flee them, through the power of God and His sovereign aid, and strive ye to knit together the hearts of men, in His Name, the Unifier, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p.

So I understand that my job is to turn away from my first reaction (flee it); and trust that in doing so, the power of God’s aid will help me.  But how do I “knit our hearts together” when he is 3 hours away and doesn’t return phone calls or answer emails?  By thinking that way, I’m trying to take control instead of giving it to God.  I can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want me to do, but do I trust that God will?  And if so, how would my actions be different?  One way is to put aside what’s happened in the past.  Sure, he doesn’t answer calls and emails nearly as often as I’d like, but he sometimes does.  If I assume from past behavior that he won’t answer this time, I’m planting the seeds of estrangement and moving away from love and trust in the Unifier, the All-Knowing, the All-wise.  God knows what’s preventing him from doing what he said, and God is giving me tests designed for my spiritual growth.  So if my son did what he said he’d do when he said he would do it, I wouldn’t have a chance to stretch my “loving, forgiving, trusting and patience” wings or to prove to God that I trust Him.

But let’s also look at what else might be going on.  We can learn a lot about what ‘Abdu’l-Bahá says about “war” when we expand our understanding of this word to include the internal war raging within.  He tells us:

When all mankind shall receive the same opportunity of education and the equality of men and women be realized, the foundations of war will be utterly destroyed. Without equality this will be impossible because all differences and distinction are conducive to discord and strife. Equality between men and women is conducive to the abolition of warfare for the reason that women will never be willing to sanction it. Mothers will not give their sons as sacrifices upon the battlefield after twenty years of anxiety and loving devotion in rearing them from infancy, no matter what cause they are called upon to defend. There is no doubt that when women obtain equality of rights, war will entirely cease among mankind.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 175)

How might equality be playing a part in this problem between my son and I?  First of all, you need to remember that there was no equality demonstrated in my childhood, so I didn’t grow up knowing that everyone in a family has rights:

The integrity of the family bond must be constantly consid­ered and the rights of the individual members must not be transgressed. The rights of the son, the father, the mother – none of them must be transgressed, none of them must be arbitrary. Just as the son has cer­tain obligations to his father, the father, likewise, has certain obliga­tions to his son. The mother, the sister and other members of the house­hold have their certain prerogatives. All these rights and prerogatives must be conserved.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 168).

Because of this, I don’t know how to set good limits; or consult properly or even how to not take offense.  So whenever something happens to trigger a certain response, or push my buttons, I react out of fear, allowing thoughts such as these to emerge from my lower nature and then I dwell on them:

• He doesn’t love me
• He doesn’t have any respect for my needs and wishes.
• He promises things he has no intention of fulfilling.
• He isn’t listening to me.
• He’s treating me the way I was treated as a child.
• I ask too much of him.
• He doesn’t want my help.

I’m focused on “plowing his field” instead of plowing my own.  If I was, I would first focus on equality and consider how I would handle the situation differently if there wasn’t a power imbalance between us.  I might think such thoughts as:

• He’s proven to me over and over that he loves me.
• He’s said he would do it, so I can give him the time and space to do it.
• There might be factors going on in his life of which I have no knowledge.
• My relationship with him is not the same as my relationship with my parents.
• He’s still young and self-absorbed.  It isn’t a personal attack.

Changing my thoughts to these allows me to get on with my day in a much more peaceful way.

Forgiveness is the key to letting the bitterness go, so that God can step in and solve the problem:

Pray to God day and night and beg forgiveness and pardon. The omnipotence of God shall solve every difficulty.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 116)

Asking God’s forgiveness is a good place to start.  So this is what I need to ask forgiveness for:

O God, please forgive me for:

• Assuming the worst about my son.
• Assuming I know what’s in his heart.
• Assuming that he won’t respond to my calls and emails.
• Wanting to hurt him as much as he hurt me.
• Wanting to punish him instead of letting you take care of the justice.
• Thinking I know what he needs to do.
• Plowing his field instead of my own.
• Dwelling on this issue instead of focusing my energy on teaching and service
• Not trusting You to solve the problem.

Once I got that far, I went on to do something else, truly believing that the problem was in God’s hands, and that now that I’d passed the test (here’s my ego!), he would do what he promised.  I had to be patient, though, because it took nearly 2 weeks for it to happen, and I had to keep trusting God.

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

 

What are the Effects of Bitterness? Darkness: Enmity is darkness in whatsoever abode it dwell.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 216) Destruction and Dispersion: If enmity and hatred exist within [a family] destruction and dispersion are inevitable. This is likewise true of a city.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 229) The fierceness of the flame [...]

What are the Effects of Bitterness?

Darkness:

Enmity is darkness in whatsoever abode it dwell.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 216)

Destruction and Dispersion:

If enmity and hatred exist within [a family] destruction and dispersion are inevitable. This is likewise true of a city.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 229)

The fierceness of the flame of enmity and hatred cannot but result in strife and ruin.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 95)

For strife and warfare are the very destroyers of human foundations.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 98)

Therefore, as strife and dissension destroy a family and prevent its progress, so nations are destroyed and advancement hindered.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 157)

Destructive to Truth:

Antagonism and contradiction are . . . always destructive to truth.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 72)

Health problems:  Bitterness and unforgiveness are the number one blocks to healing. They have been implicated in many health issues, including ulcers, heart attacks and some forms of cancer; or can lead to addictive behaviours (drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex outside marriage, driving too fast . . . ) or even ultimately to suicide.

. . . anger doth burn the liver: avoid [it] as you would a lion.  (Bahá’u'lláh, The Compilation of Compilations vol. I, p. 460)

Hell:

. . . think ye of hostility and hatred as the torments of hell.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, pp. 243-246)

Loss of Respect:

Mutual respect will not come about through separatism or antagonism.  (Baha’i International Community, 1988 Aug 01, Rights of Indigenous Populations)

Spiritually Corrosive:

However, to continue dialogue with those who have shown a fixed antagonism to the Faith, and have demonstrated their imperviousness to any ideas other than their own, is usually fruitless and, for the Bahá’ís who take part, can be burdensome and even spiritually corrosive.  (The Universal House of Justice, 1992 Dec 10, Issues Related to Study Compilation)

Torment:

If we are caused joy or pain by a friend, if a love prove true or false, it is the soul that is affected. If our dear ones are far from us — it is the soul that grieves, and the grief or trouble of the soul may react on the body.  Thus, when the spirit is fed with holy virtues, then is the body joyous; if the soul falls into sin, the body is in torment.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 65-66)

Veils between us and God: Bitterness creates veils between us and God.  Holding on to it is like drinking poison and hoping it will corrode someone else.  The result is separation, and separation from God is too high a price to pay.  It subverts our purpose in life, which is to “know God and worship Him”; to draw closer.

Nearness to Thee is the true life of them who are Thy lovers.   (Baha’u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha’u'llah, p. 77)

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

 

 

 

    What are some of the causes of bitterness?   Misunderstanding:  Often we jump to conclusions without having all the facts. This hatred and enmity, this bigotry and intolerance are outcomes of misunderstandings, the reality of religious unity will appear when these misunderstandings are dispelled.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Foundations of World Unity, p. 96) Difference of [...]

 

 

What are some of the causes of bitterness?

 

Misunderstanding:  Often we jump to conclusions without having all the facts.

This hatred and enmity, this bigotry and intolerance are outcomes of misunderstandings, the reality of religious unity will appear when these misunderstandings are dispelled.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Foundations of World Unity, p. 96)

Difference of Opinion:  Instead of thinking of truth as a diamond, with many facets, we feel that our way is the only right way.

Do not allow difference of opinion, or diversity of thought to separate you from your fellow-men, or to be the cause of dispute, hatred and strife in your hearts.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 53)

Taking Offence:  Our ego takes a bruising and we get our feelings hurt.  We take offence even when no offence was meant.

The temptation to react sharply and defensively is very great, yet we know that . . . we should not do so. Not only is it contrary to the spirit of the instructions of the Master and the Guardian, with which you are thoroughly familiar, but giving vent to such reaction tends to evoke resentment rather than bringing about the desired result.  (Letter from the Universal House of Justice, dated January 25, 1972, to a National Spiritual Assembly)

Temporary Bonds of Brotherhood:  We form alliances which we think are forever and when they aren’t, it can lead to bitterness.  This can happen when family members betray you; or when gangs feel they have to defend their turf.

Brotherhood or fraternity is of different kinds. It may be family association, the intimate relationship of the household. This is limited and subject to change and disruption. How often it happens that in a family, love and agreement are changed into enmity and antagonism.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Foundations of World Unity, p. 79)

These forms of fraternity [family, race, nation, ethical motives], these bonds of brotherhood are merely temporal and transient in association. They do not insure harmony and are usually productive of disagreement. They do not prevent warfare and strife; on the contrary they are selfish, restricted and fruitful causes of enmity and hatred among mankind. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 227)

Holding onto Imitation and Ancestral Beliefs:  You see this in parts of the world that have been feuding for generations.  The original problems are long forgotten, but the bitterness continues down through the generations, and you follow suit without thinking, because your family has always held that particular prejudice.

Alas! we have turned away from that foundation [of divine religions], holding tenaciously to various dogmatic forms and blind imitation of ancestral beliefs. This is the real cause of enmity, hatred and bloodshed in the world; the reason of alienation and estrangement among mankind.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Foundations of World Unity, p. 96)

Imitations . . . have ever been the cause of strife, enmity, jealousy and war.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 158)

Human Inventions and Dogmas:   An example of this can be seen in Rwanda.  When the European colonists conducted censuses, they wanted to identify the peoples throughout Rwanda-Burundi according to a simple classification scheme. They defined “Tutsi” as anyone owning more than ten cows (a sign of wealth) or with the physical feature of a longer nose, commonly associated with the Tutsi. The Europeans noticed that some Rwandans had noses they thought characteristic of their people, so they created historical and racial theories to explain why some Africans inherited such features.  This ultimately became a factor in the genocide.

Just as the thoughts and hypotheses of past ages are fruitless today, likewise dogmas and codes of human invention are obsolete and barren of product in religion. Nay, it is true that they are the cause of enmity and conducive to strife in the world of humanity; war and bloodshed proceed from them and the oneness of mankind finds no recognition in their observance . . .  we remain fettered and restricted by human inventions and dogmas, day by day the world of mankind will be degraded, day by day warfare and strife will increase and satanic forces converge toward the destruction of the human race.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 228)

Lack of Religious Unity and Association:  It’s hard for us to feel bitterness towards those we are associating with, if we can see that they are focused on God.

The world of humanity is one, and God is equally kind to all. What, then, is the source of unkindness and hatred in the human world? This real Shepherd loves all His sheep. He leads them in green pastures. He rears and protects them. What, then, is the source of enmity and alienation among humankind? Whence this conflict and strife? The real underlying cause is lack of religious unity and association, for in each of the great religions we find superstition, blind imitation of creeds, and theological formulas adhered to instead of the divine fundamentals, causing difference and divergence among mankind instead of agreement and fellowship. Consequently, strife, hatred and warfare have arisen, based upon this divergence and separation.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 393)

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

 

Bitterness is caused by thoughts arising from our lower nature.  If there is a root of bitterness in you, and you respond to others with bitterness, which locks into the bitterness in them, then you have a bitterness “ping-pong” game going back and forth and everyone is defiled. As a child, you could have been [...]

Bitterness is caused by thoughts arising from our lower nature.  If there is a root of bitterness in you, and you respond to others with bitterness, which locks into the bitterness in them, then you have a bitterness “ping-pong” game going back and forth and everyone is defiled.

As a child, you could have been exposed to someone else’s bitterness, often from a parent or teacher.  The bitterness in them wanted to connect with you and they did or said something to make you a victim.

If you’ve ever been abused, you’ll know that thinking about your experiences can draw you into your lower nature, judging yourself and your abusers.

Rejection can lead to bitterness.  Ask yourself:

• Who has rejected you?
• Who have you turned your bitterness towards?

We can see bitterness played out in this familiar cycle.  The husband is criticized for something he did at work; so he comes home and yells at his wife; who yells at the children; who yell at the dog.  Soon everyone is yelling; no one is listening; everyone’s feelings are being hurt; rejection starts to build and turn to bitterness, leading to estrangement.

Without Divine Education, gleaned from daily reading the Writings, we may not know how to act any differently.  We’re just following the example we’ve been taught, perhaps blaming it on our culture (I’m Italian.  It’s just the way we are), without realizing it’s a spiritual issue and can be changed.

A better scenario would have been for the husband to turn to God with his hurt at work, so that he could come home and be fully present to his wife and kids.  If he missed that opportunity, and still came home and yelled at his wife, he could have taken responsibility for his anger and apologized, asking God’s forgiveness first, then hers, and then the children’s (for setting a bad example).  When we confess our sins, and trust in God’s forgiveness, we are able to walk in the light, and have better relationships with those around us.

How bitterness unravels:

Bitterness doesn’t start all by itself.  It starts when someone does something you consider unforgiveable, and things start to unravel from there.

Unforgiveness ensures you are never going to forgive.  It keeps reminding you of the supposed wrong done to you, rehashing what was done, projecting it on the screen of your mind and tormenting you with it’s film stuck on “replay”.  This doesn’t sound like much fun, does it?  But it gets worse!

After Unforgiveness ferments your mind, and torments your life, resentment rushes in.  The record of wrongs keeps fermenting.   Resentment fuels the fermentation of Unforgiveness. It accentuates and accelerates. This is the beginning of a permanent breach between the two of you.  Many times Unforgiveness is an intellectual thought because it is just in the memory but then resentment comes in to fuel to the fire.  You feel resentment in your innermost being.   But it doesn’t stop there!

After unforgiveness and resentment have gained their foothold, the next thing to follow is retaliation. This is much more dangerous than the former vices.  It is a progressive hierarchy.  This reality probably accounts for 99% of mankind’s problems.

What reinforces retaliation?  Resentment.

What fuels resentment? Unforgiveness.

What is the root of it all?  Bitterness.

Your lower nature is having a field day, driving progressively thicker veils between you and God, and driving you further and further into the prison of self!  But it doesn’t stop there!

When retaliation has established itself within you, anger and wrath come next. Unforgiveness, resentment and retaliation can be hidden, but anger starts to show physically.  Anger and wrath never occur unless unforgiveness, resentment and retaliation have been festering for some time.  You get angry because of the breach, the hurt and the victimization that allowed unforgiveness, resentment and retaliation to get their foothold.  Retaliation is internalized long before the act of getting even.  Retaliation sets the stage to produce the elimination of a person in relationship.  It is the root behind all family splits, all divorces, all division, and all breakups of human relationships.

Nothing whatsoever can, in this Day, inflict a greater harm upon this Cause than dissension and strife, contention, estrangement and apathy, among the loved ones of God. Flee them, through the power of God and His sovereign aid, and strive ye to knit together the hearts of men, in His Name, the Unifier, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p.

After anger and wrath have gained a foothold, hatred comes.  Hatred not only has the root of Bitterness, but it is being fueled by Unforgiveness, Resentment, Retaliation, and Anger and Wrath.  Now begins the stage of elimination of the person that you hold in Unforgiveness.

When you see Hatred in someone, you know they have clothed themselves in the garments of anger retaliation, resentment, unforgiveness and bitterness and you know that the person is trusting in this armor instead of God’s protection.

Bitterness is counting on the fact that when you are ready to forgive, Unforgiveness will pull up thoughts, sights, sounds and smells to remind you of the wrong done to you.

The next level of Bitterness is Violence.  Violence is Anger in motion because it is not just emotional anymore; it is not just spiritual; it has now become physical. You can see Violence every day if you just look at families.  You can watch the progression of the breakup of human relationship caused by Bitterness.

The final level that completes Bitterness is Murder, not just physical murder (as in homicide or suicide) but emotional (as in gossip and backbiting) and spiritual murder (as in resignation from the Faith) as well.

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

  In his book, A More Excellent Way, Henry Wright says that Bitterness has 7 “underlings”: 1.  Unforgiveness:  once it’s part of your life, you won’t forgive.  It keeps a record of all the wrongs that have ever happened to you by yourself and others, even towards people who are dead.  It causes you to [...]

 

In his book, A More Excellent Way, Henry Wright says that Bitterness has 7 “underlings”:

1.  Unforgiveness:  once it’s part of your life, you won’t forgive.  It keeps a record of all the wrongs that have ever happened to you by yourself and others, even towards people who are dead.  It causes you to replay events over and over in your minds, often below your level of awareness.  It starts in the mind as a thought, and then you feel it in your gut.  It’s all coming from your lower natures.

2. Resentment:  “Re” means repeated over and over again; “sent” means to send a message; so “resentment” sends a negative message over and over again, reinforcing thoughts like:

• I’m never going to forgive you.
• I’m weird, clumsy, ugly (or other words of self hatred)

It can project outward, so we blame others, and then we both agree; saying unkind words towards each other, causing wrangling and dispute to increase.  We often see this in families and in spouses, but of course, it can happen anywhere. We hear someone saying something negative about a third person (as in listening to gossip and backbiting); their resentment attracts you and you take it in and believe it and their judgement attaches itself to you and you begin to believe it.

When you notice that a stage has been reached when enmity and threats are about to occur, you should immediately postpone discussion of the subject, until wranglings, disputations, and loud talk vanish, and a propitious time is at hand. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Lights of Guidance, p. 178)

When the resentment in me, meets the resentment in you, we both become victims without knowing it.  It’s like Velcro attaching to each other.  We can use God as the “Unfastener” (one of the names of God found in the Long Healing Prayer).

3.  Retaliation:  is about getting even.  It’s internalized long before it takes place (like adultery, you look at someone and think about it long before you act on it).  Unforgiveness fuels resentment; resentment fuels retaliation, feeding the fire with a message “they’re going to pay for what they did”.

4.  Anger and Wrath:  tempt us to go deeper.  The first three can be hidden by someone who is very deceptive.  They can cover up their anger with a smile (for example, Southern Belles, perfect hostesses).  Because they’ve been brought up to be “nice”, they won’t yell when they get angry, but turn it on themselves instead in the form of depression, often leading to substance abuse.  They’re so busy pleasing other people, they have no thought about pleasing God.

It’s harder to hide anger and wrath, because these show themselves physically.  We can see it in people’s eyes and body posture (clenched fists, clenched jaw etc).  People lose control of their emotions with the thought:  “I’m going to tell them what I think”, and their rage can manifest in a lot of uncontrolled yelling and screaming.

Another way anger and wrath manifests is through gossip and backbiting.  For those who are still trying to “be nice”, they won’t speak directly to the person who they think wronged them, but instead speak to someone else instead.  This is the root cause of all family split-ups, and breakdowns of all relationships.  It turns into bitterness.

The Baha’i Writings tell us to:

“. . . avoid these two [anger and jealousy] as you would a lion”.  (Bahá’u'lláh, The Compilation of Compilations vol. I, p. 460)

So when you catch yourself moving into anger, look that lion in the face and slowly back away.

5.  Hatred:  Hatred sets the stage for estrangement – cutting someone out of your life.  Maybe you recognize one of these thoughts:

One of us has to go, and it’s not going to be me.

• I hate you so I’m going to hurt you.
• I hate me so I’m going to hurt me.

Outward expressions of hatred are easy to identify, but inner manifestations such as addictions, eating disorders, self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts and driving a car above the speed limit etc. are not.   Someone exhibiting any of these thoughts or actions might think that their feelings of hatred are hidden, but if you hear someone telling you:  “You’ve got to love yourself”, and you deny it, it’s a warning sign and needs to be paid attention to.

6.  Violence:  is anger plus hatred, in motion.  Action is the result.  It’s no longer an emotional or spiritual problem, but a physical one, such as physical, sexual or verbal abuse; shooting; cutting, binging and purging; excessive tattooing and body piercing; spending money you can’t afford; maxing out the credit cards etc.

How did ‘Abdu’l-Bahá respond to the violence of others?  Here’s a story which illustrates his actions:

A Bahá’í came to ‘Abdu’l-Bahá to speak on behalf of a young Persian, who was trying to attach himself to the Faith. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá explained that should anyone commit a hundred wrongs against His own person He would overlook them all and treat the offender with kindness; should anyone act treasonably towards His own person, He would act towards the offender as if he were someone most trusted, but He (‘Abdu’l-Bahá) could never countenance nor aid any deed which would injure the Faith. To murder Him, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá said, would be preferable to defrauding others; murdering Him would not harm the Faith, defrauding people would.  (H.M. Balyuzi, Abdu’l-Bahá – The Centre of the Covenant, p. 393)

He also asked God for forgiveness:

O God, my God! Lowly, suppliant and fallen upon my face, I beseech Thee with all the ardor of my invocation to pardon whosoever hath hurt me, forgive him that hath conspired against me and offended me, and wash away the misdeeds of them that have wrought injustice upon me. Vouchsafe unto them Thy goodly gifts, give them joy, relieve them from sorrow, grant them peace and prosperity, give them Thy bliss and pour upon them Thy bounty.  Thou art the Powerful, the Gracious, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting!  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Will and Testament, p. 19)

7.  Murder: can be both a physical murder; or murder of the tongue.  We can destroy people’s lives with our words through slander, calumny, vilifying, defamation of character or gossip and backbiting.

For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 264)

Baha’u'llah says that a murderer must atone for his sins, but if he’s punished in this world, he won’t be punished in the next:

As to the question regarding the soul of a murderer, and what his punishment would be, the answer given was that the murderer must expiate his crime: that is, if they put the murderer to death, his death is his atonement for his crime, and following the death, God in His justice will impose no second penalty upon him, for divine justice would not allow this. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 179)

All of these stages start from within; from a thought arising from our lower natures.

Bitterness keeps us from inner peace and tranquility, and can’t be dealt with until all of these seven steps are stripped away.  It’s easy to think that we aren’t victims of bitterness, but we probably all have suffered manifestations of all of these steps at one point or another in our lives.  Even if we’re perfectly loving, our culture is so immersed in gossip and backbiting, it’s almost impossible to break free.  And ‘Abdu’l-Bahá tells us that once we are free of one vice, another one pops up in it’s place.

Just as the earth attracts everything to the centre of gravity, and every object thrown upward into space will come down, so also material ideas and worldly thoughts attract man to the centre of self. Anger, passion, ignorance, prejudice, greed, envy, covetousness, jeal­ousy and suspicion prevent man from ascending to the realms of holi­ness, imprisoning him in the claws of self and the cage of egotism.  The physical man, unassisted by the divine power, trying to escape from one of these invisible enemies, will unconsciously fall into hands of another. No sooner does he attempt to soar upward than the density of the love of self, like the power of gravity, draws him to the centre of the earth. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’í Scriptures, p. 241)

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

 

 

  What do the Baha’i Writings say about the different forms of Bitterness? Anger: . . .  if he does not use these qualities [anger and wrath] in a right way, they are blameworthy (‘Abdul-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, pp. 250- 251). Animosity: Inasmuch as God loves all, why should we entertain animosity? . . . [...]

 

What do the Baha’i Writings say about the different forms of Bitterness?

Anger:

. . .  if he does not use these qualities [anger and wrath] in a right way, they are blameworthy (‘Abdul-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, pp. 250- 251).

Animosity:

Inasmuch as God loves all, why should we entertain animosity? . . . Why then should man be unkind to man?  (Compilations, Baha’i Scriptures, p. 315)

Confrontation:

You are urged to avoid confrontation and dissension; these would tend to increase the antagonism.  (Universal House of Justice, The Compilation of Compilations vol. I, p. 185)

Dissension and Strife:

Nothing whatsoever can, in this Day, inflict a greater harm upon this Cause than dissension and strife . . . among the loved ones of God. Flee them.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p.

Hatred:

Wherefore, O My servants, defile not your wings with the clay of waywardness and vain desires, and suffer them not to be stained with the dust of envy and hate, that ye may not be hindered from soaring in the heavens of My divine knowledge.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 327)

Therefore, we must exercise extreme patience, sympathy and love toward all mankind, considering no soul as rejected.  If we look upon a soul as rejected, we have disobeyed the teachings of God. God is loving to all. Shall we be unjust or unkind to anyone? Is this allowable in the sight of God? God provides for all. Is it befitting for us to prevent the flow of His merciful provisions for mankind? God has created all in His image and likeness. Shall we manifest hatred for His creatures and servants? This would be contrary to the will of God and according to the will of Satan, by which we mean the natural inclinations of the lower nature.  (Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 286)

We believe that on deeper reflection it will be recognized that love and hate are emotional attachments or repulsions that can irrationally influence the seeker; they are not aspects of the truth itself.  (The Universal House of Justice, Messages 1963 to 1986, p. 389-390)

Malice:

Purge thy heart from malice and . . . enter the divine court of holiness.  (Baha’u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words 42)

Beware lest ye give ear to the words of those from whom the foul smell of malice and envy can be discerned; pay no heed to them, and stand ye for righteousness.  (Baha’u'llah, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, p. 199)

Quarrel:

As long as the friends quarrel amongst themselves their efforts will not be blessed for they are disobeying God. (Shoghi Effendi, The Compilation of Compilations vol II, p. 21)

Retaliation:

For example, if someone oppresses, injures, and wrongs another, and the wronged man retaliates, this is vengeance, and is censurable.  (‘Abdul-Bahá, Principles of Bahá’í Administration, p. 37)

Revenge:

Beware, beware, lest any of you seek vengeance, even against one who is thirsting for your blood.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 73)

Strife:

Nothing whatsoever can, in this Day, inflict a greater harm upon this Cause than . . . strife . . . among the loved ones of God. (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p.

Verily I say, strife and dissension, and whatsoever the mind of man abhorreth are entirely unworthy of his station.  (Baha’u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u'llah, p. 196)

God is at peace with all his children; why should they engage in strife and warfare among themselves?  (Abdu’l-Bahá, Abdu’l-Bahá in London, p. 122)

. . . strife, antagonism . . . a spirit of hostility and hatred, . . . is contrary to the good pleasure of God. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 397)

Unkindness:

He founded the oneness of the world of humanity. He declared that all humanity is the servant of God, and that God is kind to all, that He created all and provides for all; that He nurtures all; therefore why should we be unkind? Inasmuch as God is kind and merciful to all His creatures and manifests His care and goodwill to them in every way, why should we show forth that which is contrary? Inasmuch as God loves all, why should we entertain animosity or envy? For if God did not love all, He would not have provided for all; He would not have created man; He would not have trained him. Now that He has created, provided for all and preserved man, it is therefore evident that God is kind to all. Why then should man be unkind to man?  (Compilations, Baha’i Scriptures, p. 315)

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Examples of Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

 

 

 

  What is the first thing that comes into you when someone wrongs you? Anger? Resentment? A desire to hurt them back? All of these are forms of bitterness.   Perhaps you don’t like your mother-in-law; or you hate your ex-spouse.  Perhaps you’re angry with a god who didn’t heal you, or protect you the [...]

 

What is the first thing that comes into you when someone wrongs you?

• Anger?
• Resentment?
• A desire to hurt them back?

All of these are forms of bitterness.

 

Perhaps you don’t like your mother-in-law; or you hate your ex-spouse.  Perhaps you’re angry with a god who didn’t heal you, or protect you the way you thought you should be protected.  Perhaps you blame God for the loss of a job, or even worse, the loss of a child.  Perhaps you’re angry towards yourself or some part of you (your weight, your nose).  Perhaps it comes out in negative judgment towards yourself (you serve the Faith but maybe you should do a little more; you give to the Fund but maybe it’s not sacrificial enough; you believe in the core activities but you aren’t as active in them as you should be; you’re harsh in your judgments towards yourself in the name of “calling yourself to account”).

 

For more in this series:

Introduction to Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness:

 

 

  Introduction Have you been around anyone who is bitter?  Do you know what Bitterness looks like? Have you been exposed to bitterness in your life? The world is filled and Bitterness.  It is in our nation, our churches, our families and it is in our personal lives. We often don’t realize how much bitterness we carry [...]

 

Introduction

Have you been around anyone who is bitter?  Do you know what Bitterness looks like? Have you been exposed to bitterness in your life?

The world is filled and Bitterness.  It is in our nation, our churches, our families and it is in our personal lives. We often don’t realize how much bitterness we carry and how much it’s ruining our lives.

From the beginning of human history down to this time the world of humanity has not enjoyed a day of absolute rest and relaxation from conflict and strife.  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 265)

We certainly don’t like to think of bitterness as it applies to ourselves, but it takes many forms, and my hunch is that we all suffer from it.   Maybe you can recognize it by its other names:

• Acrimony
• Anger
• Animosity
• Antipathy
• Cynicism
• Dislike
• Estrangement
• Hatred
• Hostility
• Indignation
• Resentment
• Sharpness
• Sullenness
• Unpleasantness
• Wrath

 

 

For more in this series:

Examples of Bitterness:

Bahá’í Quotes on Bitterness:

The 7 Underlings of Bitterness:

How Bitterness Works:

Causes of Bitterness:

Effects of Bitterness:

Estrangement as an Outcome of Bitterness:

Warning Signs for Bitterness:

Solutions to Bitterness: